this is 'me'

her

she...she has had a HUGE effect on me

the way I think, the way I speak, the way I see things, the way I feel about people, the way I behave.

i caught feelings on 14th May 2022, i confessed on 24th January 2023.

on 28th, she hugged me, thanked me for the letter

i was ecstatic.

but on 30th, she told me "sorry im straight, but we can me friends if you want"
how do i..just let all the feelings slip into the drain so easily..?

maybe she did a good job telling me that though, because now im in a position where I feel comfortable enough to move on.

people tell me she doesn't deserve my love, people tell me she is exhausting me.

I've stayed up thinking about her.

I've written songs on her.

I've written stories about us falling asleep and waking up next to each other.

I've spent hours daydreaming about her.

how do get out of this paradise so easily?

i am aware i have to move on

but how do i stop my heart from beating out of my chest whenever i see her?

my mind is not in love with her, my heart is.
my heart is in love with her, my mind is not.