this is 'me'

cortisol (stress)

i know many people other than me go through this.

it's tough.
it tests your patience, will power and inner strength to deal with situations and people in life.

there's no way to let this out other than coming straight to the point.

i have anxiety issues.

i don't feel anxious all the time. it's generally before or after something bad happens.

i start feeling extremely stressed out and anxious at random points of the day and for random reasons.

it happens like 3 to 4 times a month.

and it makes me feel terrible.

i immediately have the urge to eat a lot of unhealthy food and then i feel even more stressed out because ive eaten too much.

then my insecurities about my body start popping.

it takes effort to get out of that zone.
if i dont try to get out, it pulls me into its own abyss of even more reason to panic about.

it's a deep and endless abyss.

i generally listen to some songs and talk to my friends or family to stop feeling that way. i also take warm baths and read unacademic material to distract my mind.

the one thing ive noticed in all this is: if you don't put any effort for it, it wont happen the way you want it to.

whenever something of this sort happens, i already know that im gonna get anxiety in sometime.

i tell myself everyday to stop stressing out over stuff. yet, it happens.

and i hate it.

people around me hate it too, but only if they come to know about it