She's So Gone

~ Chapter 8 ~

Past

It was now officially summer, and part of me feels on edge. I'm more jumpy than I have been in the last couple months. Summer usually meant being stuck at home with my mother, and whoever she happened to be dating at the time. Or it meant being stuck at home with what ever current foster family I was staying with and that was just as bad. Except now I'm at the Children's home and I know I'm safe here. It's hard to convince my self completely though. I know in my head that I'm safe here, but the way a loud voice or glass braking, even if it's because of a little kid not wanting to go to bed or someone accidentally dropping a plate or cup, it still sends my mind racing back to the traumatic memories of the past.

I've mostly just been hiding out in my room, out of the house completely, doing what I can to avoid most the other girls and the staff. Currently I'm reading in my room, when I hear a knock on the door. I'm hesitant at first but after a second I call out, "come in."

Ms Jacobs walks in, "hey, can we talk?" This makes me nervous, but I nod anyway. This is the moment that things change, or she's going to tell me I'm going back to my mother. She pulls a desk chair over so she can sit a few feet away from me. She sits it in back wards resting her arms in the back of the chair. "So I've noticed that you've been isolating yourself a bit more, is there a particular reason? Is one of the girls picking on you, or one of the staff? If someone is doing something that's hurting or upsetting you, you can let me know."

I shake my head, "no I'm okay, everythings fine." She watches me for a moment before nodding.

"Okay, well if anything changes, promise you'll tell me, the safety of you girls is my top priority." She says as she starts to stand back up.

I nod, "will do," and give her my biggest smile.

After she places the chair back she leaves the room and I have trouble going back to my book. I can't help but think about what she said. She's done nothing but show me that everything she does is to protect us and keep us happy and safe. And it's been months since I came here, but something in me keeps waiting for the other shoe to drop. I sigh, setting the book aside, why can't I just be normal and trust that people might actually be good?

Present
I assumed that since Coach Langdon wasn't in class this morning, she wouldn't be at practice either. Unfortunately that assumption was wrong, and I was extremely surprised when I walked into the gym to see her talking with the assistant coach.  Rylinn jogs up beside me, "prepare to run." She whisper teases, and I roll my eyes.

Coach Langdon looks away from her conversation with the assistant Coach to glance at me. She almost looked slightly worried, not the anger I was expecting. Even Sunday she didn't look angry once. It's very confusing and makes me feel like I'm constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. I look away from her as Rylinn and I join the other girls.

After a few warm ups we start drills and that's when Scarlett gets in line next to me. "So I realized that maybe us not really talking to each other these last couple months is partly on me. I've had a lot going on and I haven't gone out of my way either to talk to you. So, what if this weekend we did something, catch up and all."

"Can't, restriction." I tell her and then jog away to be the next to participate in the drill.

She gets in line behind me again after we've both gone through the drill and moved to the next. "What you get in trouble for, also, Ms Jacobs punished you, your her favorite."

"I'm not her favorite, and it doesn't matter," this time I get in a different  line not even going through the drill to try and throw off the order so she isn't next to me.

Unfortunately she follows, "you seem upset, is something going on?"

"Why doesn't everyone keep asking me to that?!" My annoyance getting harder and I hide.