Dirty Little Secret

five

When I wake up, I find myself trapped between something heavy. When I open my eyes, I realize it's an arm. And just like that, everything comes back to me.

I feel myself blushing just thinking about the events that took place last night. Never thought I'd find myself involved with a man who isn't Carter Williams.

And this is odd. Never in my time with Carter had I ever woken up suspended in a tight hold. I try to shimmy myself free from Lance's arm, slowly so I don't wake him up, but just when I started to sort of free myself, Lance stirs and tightens his hold on me, pulling me closer to him. My insides melt at the nice gesture, never thought it'd be nice waking up next to someone for once after something intimate.

I try to just enjoy the moment and try to go back to sleep but my bladder seriously feels like it's about to burst. Crap. This time, I try a different approach.

"Lance." I whisper softly at him, he doesn't respond. "Lance." He mumbles something incoherent. At least he's sort of awake. "I really need to go pee." He chuckles lightly and hugs me tighter.

"Hold it in. I want to cuddle." He says softly as he nuzzles his face in my hair. If the need to pee wasn't so dire, I would have swooned at what he just said.

"I'll cuddle right after, I promise. Right now, I just really really need to pee. Please." I plead to him in a whisper. He chuckles again and I feel him plant a kiss on the back of my head then his arm loosen.

"The door right next to the kitchen, on the right." He tells me. I mumble a 'thanks' and bolt for the bathroom. After my very refreshing pee, I wash my hands and face, then walk out. I'd never in my life, thought I'd be walking around a stranger's house, buck-naked. But then again, I never thought I'd ever be a third party either. So I guess there's a first time for everything. I take a towel from the towel rack and wrap it around my torso.

I walk out the bathroom and find Lance happily flipping flapjacks, already dressed in boxers. Humming something familiar. When he senses me in the room, he looks at my direction and sends me a wink, I can't help but be flustered and smile at this gorgeous naked man in front of me, cooking pancakes.

"Good morning. Your bladder is such a party pooper." I chuckle at this and sit on the bar stool on the island counter.

"I apologize on his behalf." I tell him, feigning seriousness. He laughs at this and I soon find myself laughing along. He turns off the gas stove and puts the pancakes on two separate plates. He then proceeds to give me one. "Thank you, these look delicious." He smiles proudly.

"And they're delicious too." He smugly says which I laugh at. He sits at the bar stool across me. "You still owe me a cuddling session, you promised." He tells me with a wink. Which I find myself immediately blushing at. "You blush a lot. I like it." He deadpans while shoving a big piece into his mouth, suggestively looking at me. Dirty thoughts enter my head and I quickly shake it off.

I divert my attention to my pancakes and proceed to timidly eat them. I internally have a war inside my head whether I should bring up last night or not. What if he does that casually? And I wasn't really anyone special and he might think I'm really weird because I wanted to talk about it?

My train of thoughts immediately halt when he speaks up.

"About last night..." He trails off. I lift my head and look up to him, he was staring at me with really sincere eyes, he looked really gorgeous. "I'm sorry I might have come off to you so quickly and you might think I just pounce on people I meet, I don't, I promise. It's just that I've seen you around and I've always liked you secretly and last night I finally got to see you up close and I realized your lips are so beautiful and you're so beautiful and I just couldn't hold it back and I just gave in to my carnal desires." He rambled on so fast, I had a hard time catching on and he was out of breath. By the end of his confession I find myself smiling when I see that a blush has crept on to his cheek.

I feel my insides melting for this man in front of me.

"You like me?" I finally manage to say, I couldn't hold back the smile on my face. He looked up at me, hints of his blushing still apparent.

"Y-yeah." He nervously stammers. I can't believe this gorgeous godlike man in front of me is nervous because of ME.

"This morning was the first time I actually woke up with someone beside me. It was nice." I voice out my thoughts. An unreadable expression crosses his face and his brows furrow.

He clears his throat. "I know you told me last night that it was none of my business but I've noticed how you've always come home at the crack of dawn." He trails off and my stomach churns, I know where this is going. "And I kind of saw you guys one time when I was driving by from work and I saw him and his girlfriend at Starbucks a few times too and I sort of put the puzzle pieces together." He tells me while looking straight into my eye. My stomach drops and I feel tears pooling in my eyes. "You're amazing Ryan and you deserve so much more than just sneaking around with someone who's afraid to tell everyone they're with you. You deserve so much more than what he's giving to you." By the end of the speech, he was leaning across the counter and holding my hand, looking straight into my eyes, pleading.

A tear rolls down my cheek and he wipes it away.

"But.." I stutter. "L-lance..." I manage to say. He smiles at me apologetically. "I don't what to tell you, I'm stuck." I say the last word like bile in my mouth, completely tearing up. "I love him, but I can't do this anymore. I'm so tired of this. I know he doesn't love me, but I adore him." I sob endlessly, by this time, he stands up and walks to my side and engulfs me in a hug. Only making me cry even more. He caresses the back of my head.

"It's alright, it's not your fault." He whispers to me, I find my self relaxing. He pulls me off of him and raises my chin so I'm now looking at him. Chemistry takes over and we gravitate towards each other in a loving kiss. Taking it nice and slow, like we're treasuring each other. We don't rush it, lips moving across each other, his tongue comes out and I welcome it in my mouth.

When the need for air becomes unbearable, we pull away slowly. Holding each other's gazes. He gently starts making slow circles on my cheek.

"I like you. A lot. I'd love to get to know you better if you allow it." He whispers softly. I chuckle at him and plant a small kiss on his lips. When I pull away to speak, he closes in on me and traps me in another quick kiss. When he pulls away he has a cheeky smile on him and my mouth remains open, still in shock. His chuckle wakes me up from my stupor. "Sorry, you left me hanging with that peck. You were saying?" I playfully slap him on his shoulder.

"I was going to say, after everything we've done last night, I think a little background check and friendship is needed." I tell him with a smile, he responds with a nod and a lopsided grin. Gorgeous. My hearts flutters for a second, but I don't have time to even think about it when my phone interrupts us. His expression changes into something dark and he lets go of me.

"Carter?" He asks me without looking at me. I walk over to the sound of my ringing phone.

"Yeah." I reply to him loud enough for him to hear.

And I swipe to answer the call.