Dirty Little Secret

four

The next morning, I wake up to the sound of my screeching alarm. I immediately find my ass aching. This is probably what happens when it gets penetrated for the first time.

I stand up and make my way to my bathroom, I take a really long shower. Trying to wash away my indecency. As if.

After my long shower, I get dressed and head to the café for my daily coffee, I head straight to work and immediately avoid everyone in my way. Too ashamed to look at anyone and God forbid, at Julia.

We don't work in the same area, thank God for that. But then, it seems like the devil himself went out of his way to make my day a living hell, Julia comes into my office, all smiles.

"Hey Ryan!" She says enthusiastically with a big smile, I couldn't bring myself to smile back at her after what I did.

"Hey Julia." I say in a dull tone, busying myself with paperwork.

"Guess what?" She says, ignoring my cold front.

"Julia, I'd love to guess for you but I'm really busy right now." I deadpan at her. Sorry Julia. I just can't stand talking to you without wanting to cry and stab myself.

 

"Just guess and I'll be on my way, I swear." She tells me as she does a 'cross my heart' thingy.

"Fine. You got fired?" She pouts at me and I find myself chuckling.

"Why would I be so excited if I got fired, you dumb dumb. Sir Michael included me on his business trip to New York tomorrow!" She says excitedly, jumping up and down like a little kid. This immediately catches my attention.

"What?" I ask her.

"Yeah! Don't be jelly Ryan, and don't miss me too much!" She says as she walks out of my office. I'm sure Carter will have an idea once he hears about this. I cringe at the thought.

I can't believe I have reduced myself to sneaking around. It's not like my shame for myself isn't enough, I had to be involved with someone who's just ashamed of me and to himself.

*

Later that night, I get a text from Carter saying he couldn't join me tonight because he had to help Julia pack and that I shouldn't worry because we have the rest of the week to ourselves.

What a bastard. I thought when I read it. But I immediately took back my comment because I replied, "Okay, I'll see you then." I'm just as big as a bastard as he is.

 

I find myself drinking at a bar again. Hoping Jack Daniels will help me forget all about Carter. It's because of these damn feelings, that's why I can't let him go.

Whoever said feelings were a bitch was no doubt 100% correct.

I was about to down my fourth glass when a hand stops me.

"Woah, woah. Easy there, tiger. You've had enough for tonight." The guy lowers my hand which was holding the glass. "You probably don't recognize me but I live under your apartment, my name's Lance." He says while extending his hand at me.