Silly Stories with Dairy.

The Proposal.

*Authors Note! (Casually written and does not reflect my writing style.)*

-Heya, 

Thank you for taking the time to read this. This is more of a serious story than silly, but ultimately will have a lot of silly moments. Because... it is one of my stories after all :p

I hope you enjoy and maybe get a giggle or two out of it.

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My head shot off my pillow in a panic. It was the day I had been planning months for. My three year anniversary with my lovely girl friend Rachel. 

She had gone through so much garbage and stress through Covid with me. She gave me strength on days I had none to give. She gave me joy in the most joyless moments, and she lit up my darkness. I had gotten horribly ill when the whispers of lockdowns were starting. I had to quarantine for fourteen days in a tiny bed room, while Rachel was doing online schooling to finish her degree. We were joined by a snuggly and cuddly cat named Stitch. I stayed stuck at home horribly ill for two weeks and I just could not get better. My two weeks off from work turned into a month, and then two months, and then an entire year had gone by.

After seeing a bunch of different doctors and going to many different specialists over many many months. We were just not finding any answers. I would feel fine most of the day, then feel like I was dying at night. I would feel fine for a few days and then feel like I was dying for a week. This was a very difficult time for my mental health. I got so depressed and hopeless, yet not once did Rachel give up on me.

I knew I wanted to make my proposal to her absolutely spectacular, but without me working and her just graduating college. We were on a tight budget. I had gotten her a cheap, but pretty ring. For Christmas I had gotten gift card to "Texas Roadhouse." I had gained a lot of weight since being stuck at home but luckily I had one nice pair of clothes that still fit. Everything was falling into place for us to have an amazing anniversary date and then for me to surprise her by proposing. I just had to wait for her to get home from work. I was so nervous that I made myself a alcoholic beverage to calm the nerves.

I poured myself a generous serving of vodka with a side of energy drink. I sipped on that while watching random youtube videos. I was desperately trying to calm my anxiety down. My sips were becoming drinks, and those became gulps. I was feeling warm and bubbly now. Liquid courage was pulsing through my body and for a moment I felt like I was ready...

Rachel got home earlier than expected and I scrambled to jump out of bed. My panic was in full swing and my anxiety was worse than before. My nerves were now fueled by nearly two full cans of energy drink, and a few ounces of vodka. I quickly grabbed her ring before she could see it and in a single motion. I whipped the comforter off of my body and grabbed her ring out of the ring box and threw it into an empty container of chewing tobacco...

*Now... 

I know that was a silly choice. Why take the ring out of a lovely velvet box?

 I figured that she would never expect anything weird from a bulge in my pocket from something I would normally carry.*

We made it to the restaurant early, but it was still busy. The parking lot was at capacity and we had to go next door to the Lowe's parking lot to find us a spot.  We walked through slushy melted snow and mud with our nice clothes and shoes on, without a care in the world about it. We sloshed through, and we joked every step of the way. My nerves had faded slightly until we turned the corner and noticed a line out the doors of people waiting. We only had the gift card so we did not have many other options. So we made a reservation and were told it would be about an hour before we got a call. We decided we would go to Lowes and walk around while we waited.

I had been trying my best to bring up memories from our relationship. To talk and ask questions about our future. I was trying to feel her out to see if she would say yes or not. We walked around Lowes and dreamt about assembling a house of our own someday. I watched her beautiful smile light up as she used her interior design skills to show off to me. She was adorable the way she danced and awkwardly moved through the aisles in a mostly empty store.

I kept wanting to kneel down in one of those aisles and pop the question. Every single time that I thought it was clear and no one would notice. Someone would either walk into our aisle or she would get distracted by a shiny object, and run off to the next exciting thing.

I missed every chance I had for a romantic Lowe's Proposal, but I was glad I didn't do it then and there. We got the call that our table was ready and we head back across the parking lot to the restaurant. We entered to an absolute full house. It was so loud that I couldn't hear myself think. We made our way to our seat and ordered. The entire time we were eating, I kept trying to bring up more memories and sweet moments from our time together. Eventually my liquid courage ran out and I began to think that perhaps proposing was not going to work out. I decided to give up and just enjoy our anniversary for what it was.

I gorged myself on BBQ ribs and buffalo wings and Rachel feasted upon brisket and wings of her own. We finished our meal and had an amazing time filled with laughter. Now that I had given up on the idea of proposing, I wasn't as stressed out. We paid and made our way back out to our car. We sloshed our way back through the muddy snow back to our car and got inside.

The second we sat down we both looked at each other silently, and then we valiantly unbuttoned our pants and shirts and let our fat just roll out and breath freely. We booth burst out laughing as she put the car into reverse and began to pull out of the parking spot. I was so in love with her in that simple moment that I quickly just shouted.

"SSSTOPP!" As I scrambled to the pull the tin of tobacco out of my pocket. 

"WHAT?!" She screamed, startled as she noticed what I was pulling out of my pocket.

"Do you need tobacco?" She asked me.

I pulled the ring out of the tin and asked her through mumbled words and a broken speech about love and partnership, if she would marry me.

In our panic she had let her foot off of the break and we rolled through a mostly empty parking lot as she said yes...

I thought that was super romantic... until She broke it down play by play for me.

I proposed in a car, with our pants undone, in a Lowes parking lot, while country music was on the radio, and the ring was hidden inside of a tin of tobacco.

My only wish was that there would have been a commercial for Nascar on that country music channel. 

I never expected my romantic engagement would end up being so "Yee-Haw!"

It was perfect.