Chapter Thirty Five

9 5 4
                                    

1994

I'm watching his funeral. He's dead and I have failed.

They lower the coffin into the grave, and I wish I could cry for him. Not his family, who stand by the grave, appearing to be completely fine.

They should be crying.

The coffin is a dark wood, and the flowers on top are lilies.

The sky is gray, just how it seems to be every day, but darker to me. The world has gotten smaller.

"Would anyone like to say a few words?"

I would like to say a few things.

Thank you for teaching me, along with Brad, that things aren't completely black and white.

Thank you for caring even when I didn't.

Thank you for introducing me to roller coasters.

Thank you for being valiant.

Thank you... for making me remember.

I've failed. Now, since I never got to judge him, his spirit will stay on earth and wander around. He will become a Presence.

Just thinking about it makes me want to cry.

I want to remember something happy.

Maybe the 1976 memory, I'll think about that. It's probably one of the few happy ones that I have.

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