My Starboy

warnings: mature, swearing, two boys being idiots.

*

He forced it to stop, eventually, his body all cried out and his chest weak. He wasn't sure how long he'd been in there for, but by the time he'd washed his hands and stepped back into the hall, it was dark. He walked into his room to find Eddie was gone. Of course he was gone. He'd just admitted his stupid fucking feelings for his most important person, and disappeared into the bathroom for... god, four hours? He curled under the covers, and the faintest smell of Eddie lingered, leaving him with the slightest comfort. He closed his eyes, and let the darkness consume him.

There was a knock at the door.

"Please, go away, mum." he muttered, "I'm tired."

"I know I'm pretty, but I don't think I look that much like a woman." Eddie.

Gareth rolled over, looking at him. Jesus, how long has it been? It was still dark, but his lamp was on. But Eddie was dressed in new clothes. His favourite pair of sweats and... oh, Gareth's Sabbath Shirt, with his flannel painted with "Loser" on the back layered over it, and a pair of Gareth's cosy socks.

"I thought you'd be a little longer than that." Eddie smiled, shuffling into the room and shutting the door, "We've never been the best when talking about big feelings... I had to pee outside."

Gareth smiled.

"I got strawberries and cream." Eddie held up his bowl, "You want some? You had no ice cream left for some reason. You always have ice cream."

Okay... so, Eddie was still here. Still sharing Gareth's clothes. Willing to share food with him.

"I finished it yesterday." Gareth snuffled, sitting up, "Lily came over."

"Oh." Eddie tensed before nodding and sitting down on the end of the bed, "What... did you do?"

"Ate the whole tub of icecream and drank her mum's most expensive champagne."

Eddie smiled, "Sounds like a breakup routine."

"It was." Gareth sniffled, "She got cheated on... by Carver."

"Oh." Eddie nodded, licking his spoon before looking up at Gareth stunned, "Did you know?"

"I found out yesterday." he frowned, "I... I couldn't bring myself to call you yet. I was gonna do it today, but Wayne called first."

Eddie nodded, "I understand."

"I'm sorry-"

"It's not your fault." Eddie smiled, scooping more strawberries and cream into his mouth, "It's not your fault."

"Okay." Gareth mumbled.

"So..." Eddie hummed, "Are you and Lily... like, together?"

Gareth shook his head, "No, I'm- I'm gay."

Eddie looked at him for a second, his eyes widened in that way Gareth knew was pride, and he smiled all sweet, "You are?"

Gareth nodded.

"Thank you for telling me." He smiled more, "I'm proud of you."

Gareth felt very warm inside, "I... she figured it out. Lily, she- she knew I'd got my heart broken at that party, and then when she saw us talking, she figured out it was... you. And so, when I impulsively said we were getting naked, she just went with it. And then... I mean, she was into me enough, but she said... her brother's gay, and so she was cool with it, and... she was gonna pretend for me."