solangelo one shots

the chronicals of n&w chapter 17

Nico's POV

"I'm scared of what my mom will think," Will admitted, head on my shoulder. I felt his skin heat up a bit as he mentioned this, but before I could open my mouth to tell him, he shifted away. "I'm sorry. I just… it's been stressing me out lately. I'm telling her that I'm staying here with you this year, and I don't know if she'll force me to come home with her or whatever." I felt a surge of guilt. I hadn't thought about Will's worries or fears in a long time, so caught up in my own problems. So selfish.

My own voice whispered sickly sweet threats in my ears, but I ignored it and stuttered out something befitting of the situation.

"I should've been there for you. I left you to deal with this alone."

Will's eyes widened even more, if possible. "No, you've done everything right! Neeks, you're always there. You're the only one who keeps me sane."

Something he had said before registered in my brain. "Wait, you're going to stay here with me for the school year?" No sooner had I fleetingly loosened my grip on my concentration, the pain coursing through my skull slammed me like a pickup truck. It took every ounce of my will to remain stoic when I wanted to curl into a ball and wail. I recovered just quickly enough to hear his response.

"Of course. I wouldn't leave you again." Will replied. He started to move towards me again but stopped himself. "I still need some time to calm down. I'll be in the infirmary for a few hours, okay? It'd be better if you stayed away."

"I think I'll survive for a while without you. It'll be a close scrape, though." I offered him a teasing smile. "You'll be fine. I'll be there when you're ready."

"And that's why I love you." Will smiled so brightly that for one shining, glittering moment, the constant war in my head ceased. I watched as he walked back through the trees and into the infirmary, shutting the door behind him.

After confirming the tight rein I had on my power, I made my way over to Hestia. She didn't require me to speak and let me sit beside her companionably. As of late, I'd taken to sneaking out to join her at night instead of sleeping. We had an understanding. She would have company, and I would have peace.

There was something gnawing at my mind, something I kept a secret. No matter what, the void inside me would keep growing and growing, and whenever I burned myself out, it would only grow faster. There was no escaping from the darkness that would swallow me whole, unless I could be cured from this side-effect of being a demigod with demon blood. Time was my enemy right now. Tick tock tick tock tick tock.

"There's something distracting you today. More so than usual." Hestia murmured. She still took the appearance of a young girl, but there was the wisdom of ages in her fiery eyes.

"I'm afraid of losing who I am. It's just... too hard sometimes... to keep it together." I admitted. I was sure she wouldn't tell anyone. She was my confidant, like Will. But there were things I kept even from the people I loved, for fear of driving them away.

"It's your curse, isn't it, that the children of Hades fall to madness?" She asked gently, taking my hands in her own. I nodded. "You know as well as I do that your father will not allow another one of his children's minds to fall apart while it's in his power. Not this time. Not again."

"You're right, as per usual. But what of my demon blood? It's basically eating away at me from the inside, like acid. There's only so much I can take."

Hestia shook her head. "Poor boy. Such a ferocious internal conflict. And the worst of it is, you know which part of you is winning."

"I'm going to die unless I can come up with a permanent solution, aren't I?" I shuddered, shifting closer to the hearth. I knew that no matter how close I got, I wouldn't burn myself. It was a secret blessing from the ex-Olympian. I'd decided to hide this immunity from the other demigods. One had to hold at least some cards close to the chest, after all.