Faceless [H.S]

Kiss Kiss! 16

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

I was home again, not by choice but by force. I hated that Harry did this to me. I wanted to be on the pole, lost in the music and bathing in hundreds. Instead, I couldn't find the energy to wash myself, to eat, to move. I didn't even want to check my phone or look at the T.V. I lived through what happened a couple nights ago, why would I want to live through it again? 

I knew Julie was okay, and that was enough. 

But, I needed to think of myself and my mental health, and let her take this time as well. So I let myself cry, I let myself ache. Let myself be swallowed by my mattress and engulfed by the void. It was all I could do. I was drifting off to one of my many naps of the day when my phone was ringing, suddenly. I looked at the source, seeing it was unknown number at the top. I knitted my eyebrows together, before pressing answer, hesitantly.

"Valerie!"

The unknown voice made me flinch. My eyes widened and I sat up in my bed. "Yes, this is she...?" I questioned. The cheery voice was light and feminine, airy and sweet. I had no idea who it was. "And this is?"

"Oh my god, you don't remember me?" Her voice conveyed shock. I felt a bit guilty, this random woman obviously knew my name and who I was, so why couldn't I remember her?

"I'm sorry, should I?" I asked.

"Babe, it's Olivia. We went to school together? River High School, downtown?"

Olivia... Olivia... I squinted my eyes in thought.

Oh, shit.

"Olivia?" I questioned. "Like, the only person who I talked to in high school, Olivia? Holy fuck, hey."

I forgot that she existed, if you wanted me to be completely honest. When we graduated in 2017, she moved to California. We lost touch. It's natural when you become adults. We were growing up and growing up sometimes meant growing apart. We met freshman year, we clung to each other pretty quick. She made me feel like my life had a sense of normalcy... besides what was going on in my life at the time, of course. Olivia would take me to her house and we'd talk about cute boys and how we hated our teachers. Typical shit. But after my father died, I didn't go to school as much. Honestly, I don't even know how I graduated with all of my absences in senior year.

Olivia always tried to check in, but I did shut her out. It was hard for me.

It was just that she was the perfect student, the perfect girl, even. Big blue eyes and dark hair, sun kissed skin and long legs. She wanted to be a model, I remember her telling me all about it. She had the look for it. Beautiful was an understatement when it came to describing her. I remember everyone drooling all over her in school. Olivia got accepted into her dream college, and I became a stripper. We were in two different worlds now. She had the perfect family, perfect everything. 

"I just came to the city, and I remembered my favorite person lives down here, hello, it's been forever!" She giggled. I shook my head in disbelief, surprised at how excited she sounded. I knew she was painfully unaware of the mayhem that had been happening in the city the last couple of days. It was a bit refreshing, how blissfully oblivious she was. She was always like this, though. It was nice to know she hadn't changed.

"I know, wow, it's been a couple years. How are you?" I asked, trying to make small talk.

"I'm fantastic! Oh my gosh, I miss you, let's go out, I'm begging!" She swooned. I took my lower lip in between my teeth. Me? In a club? Sounds like absolute Hell right now. I had no energy.

"So you get off your butt and come out with me tonight. I literally just got off my flight, but I'm ready. We have so much to talk about."

I took a deep breath. "I don't know, I just, it's been rough these last couple of days--"

"Nothing liquor can't fix. Get up! I'm so glad your number hasn't changed by the way because I don't know what the fuck I would've done if you didn't pick up, I'll send you my address to my hotel!" Olivia said, gleefully. "I'm getting into my Lyft now so just text me babe! Kiss kiss!"

Before I could deny her, she hung up and I just sat there, dumbfounded. Ah, shit. I didn't want to go. Do I text her that and tell her? Would she understand? Would I be a bad person? Guilt was eating at me.  Was it wrong if I went? Was I allowed to have fun?

I took in a sharp breath, swinging my legs over the side of my bed and walking toward my closet. I could, right? I could go out? 

I felt like I was battling myself. 

Maybe I should go.