Faceless [H.S]

Sober Thoughts. 29

They all collectively decided it would be best to stay the night; for my safety.

I hated to admit that it made me feel comforted. I was now intertwined with Faceless, whether I liked it or not. My sister was back in my life, at least, albeit strange.

Harry and Niall had already crashed in the living room, and Vivian was anxiously standing near my bed. I think it was triggering for her to sleep next to me, it reminded her of our past. I pushed my hair behind my ears and sat down on the bed, patting it softly. She was wearing my old tee shirt and some sweats, and she had her arms folded across her chest. She had a stubborn expression, eyebrows furrowed like she knew she was tired but didn't want to rest.

Harry had fallen asleep quickly, and Niall came shortly after, snoring loudly. It was just us two.

"You can sleep, you know," I murmured, weakly. "It's really late."

I glanced at the time. 2:45 AM.

"I didn't even know it was so late," I said in disbelief to myself.

"I feel like I won't be able to sleep," Vivian admitted, finally sitting slowly. She sunk into the mattress and her eyes closed as if she couldn't fight it.

"Doubt that," I joked. She snickered to herself and lay down, turning to me. I lay down beside her, facing her. We were both curled up, staring at each other like we were little kids again. Through the slight light of my window, I could see tears filling up in her eyes. I propped myself on my elbow, reaching over. An instinct.

"Valerie, I'm sorry," she apologized. Her voice cracked. Every ounce of anger I had replaced with concern. "I'm so sorry--"

"It's okay," I said it rushed, like I didn't even believe it myself. I knew I would forgive her in time. She was my sister. And the truth was, I did miss her.

When the dust settled after that argument, the truth remained: she will always be my sister and my other half. In another universe, we're playing double-dutch and braiding eachother's hair and we don't know what this pain feels like.

"You don't have to lie," Vivian murmured. "You don't."

"If it isn't okay now, it will be soon," I stroked her hair. "I'm just really sorry I didn't think of your feelings earlier."

"You did, you always do," she shook her head in disbelief. "You went through a lot for me. I went through a lot for you--"

"We're even." I laughed a bit.

"I left you to deal with him and I put you in this mess with Harry, and I'm sorry." Her words are shaking and she's crying, and I had never seen her so distraught. "If I would've known how bad it was, I would've done something--"

"Harry's insane," I snapped.

"I know. But..." She began, and then got quiet. I raised an eyebrow.

"What? Please don't defend him," I closed my eyes. "I will literally go into a coma."

Vivian sniffled. "No, it's just--there's a reason why he is the way he is. He's been through some fucked up shit. He's been beside me the whole time, he took me in..."

I slid my tongue over my teeth as she looked for the right words. "I just think Harry needs therapy."

"Like most men," I muttered, "nothing new."

"I'll kill him if you want me to," she managed, voice croaky.

My eyes shot open. "Fuck no, Jesus Christ--"

"I'm kidding! Only a little."

She smiled and she looked like a little kid again, face wet with tears.