Just One Chance(Rewritten) Ryan Destiny x Dave East

Part 118

Lily POV

"Sure you straight mamas?"

"I'm good Dave." I was really trying to be strong asl right now. I didn't need him asking me how I'm feeling every few seconds. The church has a decent number of people in it and everyone is dressed in black making the atmosphere gloomier than it should be. I always say I don't want my memorial to be a sad day, I want it to feel like a celebration of my life. The dark colors is a big no for me. From the moment I arrived I regretted it. I really would rather be anywhere else but here. Lori has been crying hard since I got here. Her cries and wails could be heard from outside. Chris had been at her side consoling her as best as he could. Corie is sitting with my parents and the only reason I arrived with Dave is because I really did not want to drive here alone. Keisha didn't want to drive either so she rode with us. My kids are with Dave parents and Brianna is back home with Kiki's mom. Everyone turned up for Safi which is good but I suppose it should have been expected. Sure, we all have been pretty busy lately living our separate lives but I doubt anyone would have missed the chance to say their final goodbye to Safi.

Karla and Kaedan are already sat together in the church. You would think they're back together or something but I guess old habbits die hard or whatever. Bully is stood outside with a bunch of Queensbridge niggas smoking like he couldn't wait to roll one later and as we speak Danny is literally just making her way over to us.

"This is a pretty decent turn out, no cap. I'm glad, shawdy would've felt like important asl. Shit even the snakes showed up. I peeped Kylie and her little crew outside all dressed up like this a damn fashion show." She spoke looking pretty well dressed herself.

"You staright Dee? You need anything?" Dave asked his sister.

"I'm good bro, y'all here together?"

"Yeah-

"No." I answered. They both looked at me but now wasn't the time for a conversation about us. I cleared my throat before asking Kiki if she was ready to sit. Like me, I know she was ready to run but we had to be here, we both knew it. She nodded and we excused ourselves, joining karla and Kaedan up front.

The ceremony began shortly after and as soon as it was done, I was ready to leave. I was not sticking around to watch them out her six feet under, sorry. That was a bit much for me. I hoped Lori wouldn't notice my absence at all. As everyone filed into their cars getting ready to go over to the cemetery, I asked Dave to take me back home. He gave me a questionable look but before he could ask anything I got into the car. When we got home, I went straight for the bathroom. I felt so dirty like I needed to wash my own sins and the stench of death off me and for the second time it really hit me. I sat on the bathroom floor in the shower and cried my heart out. I sobbed so loud it alarmed Dave because he came rushing in and snatched my naked form out of the shower while he was still fully clothed. I allowed him to pick me up and carry me into our room and place me onto the bed we once shared. I allowed him to hug me, hold me and console me until I couldn't take it again and the thought of him touching me suffocated me. I shoved him harshly and scooted away from him in a rush as the tears continued to stream down my face in an angry race.
"Lily what-
"Did you do it?"
"Do what mamas?"
"Don't fucking play games with me David! Did you, yes or no?!" When he looked at me with a confused expression it only fueled my anger. How could he have the nerve to act slow right now when I'm un such a vulnerable state he wants to play me for a fool. "You did it didn't you." I spat bitterly.
"Aaliyah I don't know what you talking bout."
"SAFI! You killed her, didn't you!?"
"Man what the fuck. This the shit you on right now?"
"ADMIT IT."
"I ain't touch that girl Lily like I told you I wouldn't. Tf you got me on man. This what got you pissed off. You really think I'd do some foul shit like that?"
"She is the reason Shooter is dead like you kept reminding me. Of course I think you're capable of killing her. Hell, you admitted you wanted to-
"AND I DIDN'T. I COULDN'T. C'mon mamas I wouldn't put you through that kinda pain. I'd never hurt you like that. You should know that. This break shit is toxic for us man. Look how you accusing me already. You forgetting who you dealing with ma?"
"I know exactly who I'm dealing with East, that's why I'm asking."
"Nah don't do that. Don't throw that name in my face like that. Fuck East, yunno Dave. C'mon man you gotta trust me ma. Ain't no relationship without trust. You know me better than you're giving yourself credit for right now. You know I ain't do this. You mad asf that I wanted to sure but you ain't believe I actually did it though."
"Then tell me who did then."
"Huh?"
"If you can huh then you can hear. Don't play with me Dave, not right now."
"I ain't trynna play witchu calm down. On my life I ain't have nothing to do with ya girl demise, I ain't ashamed to say I ain't feel bad about it but I played no part in it nor do I know who did it. Quite frankly at first I couldn't care less but lately I been keeping my ear to the street, guess you could say curiosity getting the better of me."
"Alright then fine, well when you hear something I need to know."
"Nah that ain't happening."
"I'm not asking-
"You better not be and you sure as hell ain't telling me either. You ain't getting involved in none of this street shit, you fucking crazy man? Stay out of this Aaliyah. I mean it. You ain't gotta concern yourself with it. What's done is done."
"Is that right? So I'm just supposed to go on with my happy life knowing that someone killed my friend and they're just casually walking the streets. Hell could even be smiling in my face."
"No offense ma, but y'all weren't even cool if I remember correctly. Y'all had a fall out and for good reason, you still claiming shawdy a friend. Dead and all?"
"Don't. I don't want to get into that with you."
"Nah? Because you pretty much brought it up with your accusations and all."
"I'm done with this conversation Dave, but I'd like you to keep me in the loop on the things I'm serious. Lori needs closure don't you think? We at least owe her that. She's truly broken and I don't even know if it's beyond repair. Chris is having one hell of a time with her too and I know that pain trying to ease the pain of a loved one. I felt like shit when Shooter died. I didn't know what to do with myself seeing you and Kiki hurt like that and not have any answers or kind of justice. I don't want Lori and Chris going through that. They don't need it especially not now. They were literally in a great place in life with Chris doing his thing making a big name for himself as a rapper and Lori just holding it down as his rider and as a mother. Then this it her in the face like an unexpected backhand."
"I get it ma,aight? Imma keep my ear to the ground, see who knows what but don't hurt your head over it. This ain't on you. You heard me?"
"Yeah I hear you." I mumbled.
"Imma be back, get dressed, get some rest."
"Where you going?"
"For our kids. You gon be straight right?"
"Actually, I don't feel like staying in the house on my own."
"C'mon then my passenger seat ain't gon complain." He joked lightly. I bet it wouldn't and neither would he. I lowkey feel bad for making such a strong accusation. I'n surprised how easily he brushed it off. I would've been pissed had he accused me of something I didn't do but maybe he gets why I did it. That's not an excuse though just good reasoning.
*
*
It's been four days since the memorial and things almost feel normal. I'm still home and having my kids in my feet everyday is heaven on earth. I've missed them so bad and now I can't even complain when they misbehave or throw a fit. Dave has been home a lot too. He barely leaves the house but we still don't speak much which makes things a bit awkward. He makes me breakfast in the morning and when I cook lunch or dinner I'm not selfishly checking for myself so there's that. He has been sleeping in the guest room though which when I think about it is ridiculous. I have two kids with the man, he saw and held me naked four days ago but I practically put him out of the room where he's been sleeping without me for over a month. You know what let me not take full responsibility, he gave the room up offering to sleep elsewhere and I simply didn't stop him. Being back home reminds me of how much I miss sharing a bed and everything else with him though. I'm in the house with my family yet I'm still lonely at nights, it's pathetic. I feel like I'm torturing myself at this point. I love the man so what's holding me back. What is preventing me from truly fixing what was broken. I gave this man my all and I know I would be absolutely devastated if I had to go through life without him. Just the memories of a time when he was shot in a coma while I was heavily pregnant brings tears to my eyes. Am I being too hard on him? On us? Can our relationship even be fixed at this point? I have to admit I've done him some wrong as well. I haven't treated Dave as the man that I'm madly head over heels in love with as of recent so what if he doesn't love me anymore? What if he's lost interest in me? Maybe the only reason he is tolerating me now is because of our kids. Oh God, am I truly meant to be a single mother of two. What's the point of being successfully if you can't share the luxuries with the person you love.

"Mamas why you crying?" I quickly wiped away my tears too embarrassed to even raise my head. I hadn't heard him enter the room. Oh God how long was he even standing there.

"Aye, you know you could still talk to me right? I'm here in the flesh ma and even if I wasn't I'd always be a call away for you. Shit, or maybe a flight." He chuckled lightly and I couldn't help but laugh but I knew it to be the truth. No matter what I know Dave would always be there for me. He would always care for me and make a way for me no matter what even if he had to put down the mayor himself or fly a helicopter to meet me. That's the type of crazy man I managed to fall for.

"What's on your mind?" He asked raising my chin with his finger so he was starting right through my glossy eyes. I tried to speak but my lips trembled. I was afraid, embarrassed, to even speak the words. He wouldn't laugh at me of course not. Dave would never ridicule me not when it came to my feelings I knew that for sure but still.

"I can't read your mind yunno that right? You gotta talk to me mamas." I bit my lip trying not to cry again. I missed hearing him call me that.

"This about Safi?" Even though I know it wasn't his favorite topic, his tone was gentle. I shook my head no and that only let him raise his brow in question. "I got something to do with it?" He then asked. I nodded slowly. "I upset you?" He questioned sounding concerned. I knew he was. I could see the worry written all over his face. I remember when I just met this man. I thought he was the sexiest thing on the planet and hardcore asf until I got to know him and those layers came off. Dave is nothing like the East the streets know about and I am grateful. He treats me like a flower. Despite knowing I can handle my own he handles me with delicacy except when he fucking the shit outta me then he just straight trynna break me. I'm surprised my vagina worked well enough to push out two babies.
"Aight tell you what, catch ya breath, get your head right while I finish cleaning up after the kids. Dimitri somehow got the dogs and the muddy paws all over the house and Kairi too sick to help Reina pack the toys away. We can talk when you ready or better yet lemme take you to lunch. I could drop em off by my folks for a while yunno Mama East won't mind." I've noticed how he has been devoting his time and energy into the kids...and me even without us really speaking. He makes sure I'm good regardless and well taken care of. This the man I want back, the man I love—my man.
"I'm down for lunch." I finally found the words.
"Aight say less, we out inna bit then." He sent a quick wink my way before leaving the room.