skz oneshots

seungin - one sided

i maybe vented stuff and it manifested into this :]]

T/W : angst

just to let you know, this is not hanahaki, i would never do that to you guys.

and if you were my little girl

i'd do whatever i could do

i'd run away and hide with you
i know that you got daddy issues, and i do too

everything hurts. everything ached. his heart throbbed, bleeding profusely, day and night. 

he had never been loved. he had only given love. 

never receive. how awful it must be to give him love? it must feel so distasteful, so rotten.

would he never belong to someone? would he only be like a discarded rag, tossed to the side, so seemingly unimportant?

scream, sob, cry, bleed, rip, sore, scream, shriek, shake, grasp, fall, ache, ache, ache, pain.

would no one hug him? give him kisses? stroke his hair, cuddle him, make him ramen, buy him cute snacks?

was he not deserving of his love?

a hot, stray tear fumbled down his cheek as the boy lay on his back, his sore eyes staring up at the ceiling. a shaky sigh escaped him, his body trying to calm him down. bottle it up. store it away. let it nibble at his fragile soul once more.

the beautiful ache of being so in love was so painful, yet so merciful.

it allowed him to truly feel, feel so much. sometimes he felt too much.

those were the days when his heart would clot, the bleeding would build and swell and his chest would burst. the stunning amounts of precious pain he felt on those blessed days reminded him of how wonderful love is.

it would chew on him, leave him falling to pieces.

fill his head to the brim with deceitful, delusional lies, leave his mouth full of sweet blood.

scream, sob, cry, bleed, rip, sore, scream, shriek, shake, grasp, fall, ache, ache, ache, pain.

how torturing it is.

all he could manage to feel was broken. his poor, poor heart ached for the man's love, for his touch, his soft spoken words, airy breaths on his neck.

instead his weak, soft, sweet heart bled rubies, that tore gently day by day at him, until it wore him away. until there was nothing left.

scream, sob, cry, bleed, rip, sore, scream, shriek, shake, grasp, fall, ache, ache, ache, pain.

a gentle shiver scuttled across his skin. he dragged the duvet along him again, turning on his side, tears cascading down the bridge of his nose.

they were allowed to escape. to come out. his own tears, something he made himself, could leave.

and yet, in almost comical irony, the boy would remain forever imprisoned in the rough hands of love, which have him by the neck, against a brittle wall for years.

scream, sob, cry, bleed, rip, sore, scream, shriek, shake, grasp, fall, ache, ache, ache, pain.

the door opened. a thin glow of warm tinted light slummed into the room as the he walked in. the boy in bed held his breath, hoping, praying, his love would walk past, blissfully ignorant of his copious amounts of pain.

and he did.

scream, sob, cry, bleed, rip, sore, scream, shriek, shake, grasp, fall, ache, ache, ache, pain.

he always did. and he always will.

scream, sob, cry, bleed, rip, sore, scream, shriek, shake, grasp, fall, ache, ache, ache, pain.

no one would ever call him 'mine'.

scream, sob, cry, bleed, rip, sore, scream, shriek, shake, grasp, fall, ache, ache, ache, pain.

he would never shield the boy from the pain, never enclose him in his arms. he would never kiss him, patch up his tattered heart.

jeongin would never be seungmin's.

scream, sob, cry, bleed, rip, sore, scream, shriek, shake, grasp, fall, ache, ache, ache, pain.

they would never belong to each other.

scream, sob, cry, bleed, rip, sore, scream, shriek, shake, grasp, fall, ache, ache, ache, pain.

scream.

sob.

cry.

bleed.

rip.

the boy never exhaled.

sore.

scream.

shriek.

grasp.

not properly.

fall.

ache.

ache.

ache.

pain.

all he wanted was to be swept away by the wind, nothing more than a mere crimson stain, carried carefully by soft palms of the breeze.

love is just hate bubbling the wrong way. it broods the same, makes you feel so powered yet so helpless.