Change of Heart

Hope- 8

After reading what people were saying about me and Luke I needed to try and fall asleep, which felt impossible for me to do.

I laid in bed for a while and then decided to write in my journal:

Dear whoever,

Today was great I spent the day with Luke but something came up and I learned something new about my new friend. I was hurt at the fact he did not tell me he's in a well known band but at the same time I couldn't be mad at him because I know where he's coming from. The bad this is, twitter seems to be ruining my whole mood and making me spiral back down into the hole I've been climbing out of recently. Its hard knowing so many people have such negative things to say to you and how much they can actual impact your mood. I just wish people knew how much they can hurt others. People don't know the personal struggles people are going through.

Sincerely, someone who needs help.

**Morning**

I woke up feeling like a bag of bricks and did not want to get out of bed. I had many missed calls and texts from both Meghan and Luke, I wonder if Luke talked to Meghan about everything but I chose to just throw my phone on the floor and lay back in bed.

This feeling I feel won't go away and I feel like I'm stuck in a spot i can't get out of. Its scary to think that I can't be happy with who I am and where I am in my life. I always gets these moments of never wanting to leave my room or never going back to college because I want to move away from this sad town and make something big out of myself. My parents don't even understand me and don't see why I get stuck in these moods; sometimes I don't even know why I do. This makes it impossible to talk to them and be able to try to even "get better" as they say.

The only person who can make me feel better is Meghan but I don't want to talk to her because she will end up convincing me to text Luke and I'm so not ready to do that.

****

Its been two days since I've left my room other then to get food. I still haven't talked to Luke or Meghan. When I'm in these moods nothing seems to ever switch me back to be happy.

I decided to take a shower and try to clear my mind because I do my best thinking while I shower. I decided to play some new music, yes that music was listening to Lukes band 5 Seconds of Summer. I honestly don't know why I did this to myself because I sat in the shower and just cried for what felt like hours. I missed him but I don't know what to do or what to say to him.

Later on I continued to listen to their music and it is really good and the type of music I enjoy listening to. I was feeling happy that I decided to listen to them because it made me feel closer to Luke and I liked that.

I heard a knock on my bedroom door, confused to who it was, I yelled for them to come in. I left my music on because I was enjoying Luke's sweet voice singing.

I saw Meghan and Luke standing at my door, they both looked like they also haven't slept in two days and this made me feel like complete shit. I didn't even think about how they must be feeling from all of this.

Luke heard that I was listening to his band and smiled at me, it looked like the first time he's smiled in a few days because he seemed awkward about it.

Luke looked over at me and said, "Why are you listening to that band? They suck!"

I instantly started laughing and it felt like a huge weight lifted off my shoulder. I ran over to Luke and hugged him like I haven't seen him in years and I felt completely safe wrapped in his arms.

Luke looked at me with his tired eyes "I don't ever want you to be sad again, I'm always here for you."

I actually trusted the words he was telling me and I felt happy, real happiness.

Meghan and Luke stayed over for a bit and we all ended up falling asleep while watching a movie. It was nice spending time with them and finally feeling safe and loved again.

**next morning**

After Luke and Meghan had left my house late last night I slept like a baby. I was so refreshed in the morning
and wanted to make the best of the day!

I checked Twitter one last time before deleting the app for the day when all of the rude messages started flooding in again.

I felt sad again until I looked at Luke's Twitter page. The newest tweet read,
"to everyone being rude to my friend, please stop. She doesn't deserve this at all"..."I actually really like her and I want to be open with you guys but you tearing down the one person who truly cares about me and my friends does not help. I love her..."

I checked the time he tweeted it and it was right after he left my house last night...does Luke mean what he said...does he really 'love' me?

We have only known each other for a short amount of time and I hated him when I first met him.

I think I might love him too....

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HEY GUYS!
I know this might all be happening so fast but sometimes you fall for someone harder and faster than you think.

maybe he loves her as a friend..we will have to see!

I hope you guys are enjoying it <3