Oh mon Dieu! - Damiano David

22｡◕‿◕｡

May, 2021

After the arrival of the band in Rotterdam, it was time for some hectic few days around the arena and the city. From tours to get to know the arena, to hanging out with the other delegations to getting around the city, it was safe to say that the band was succumbing to exhaustion. Everyone was trying their best to have fun and make most of the experience and enjoy it. But, one thing that was restricting the band's enjoyment, specially Damiano's, was the certain now black-haired French girl that he just saw glimpses of. His bandmates tried talking to her, all of them getting the slam of her door.

Damiano noticed her mingling around when she knew he was not present in the room, he was just good at hiding out of her vision. He noticed her genuine smile around other people, but something was missing. Something from her aura was missing and he knew that he took that part of her. By doing what he did and betraying her, he took the part that he admired the most. She was always glowing around him; she was full of positivity. Now, to him she was like half a person, and he knew that it was his doing that made her that way. if he only stood up for her, if he only reached out sooner and sober, maybe things will be different with her. He has not heard her song yet; he avoided it like the plague. Vic listened to her albums in detail and told him that every song was probably about him. He did not have the willpower to listen to them knowing how much he hurt her.

Damiano was hurt, as well. He tried his best to forget her and continue with his life, but he could not do so. She was everywhere. Whenever her songs would play on the radio he would change the station, every time her songs would play at the club, he would leave. When he called her that faithful night in 2019, he heard the first verse of her new song and knew he wanted to talk to her but lacked the courage. He drank and got the courage to call her. He wished he never did that.

As time passed, in Rotterdam he tried to sneak into her life slowly but failed every time. He tried to catch her at rehearsals, but never did. Damiano noticed how his bandmate's spirits went down whenever she would visibly avoid them. He felt a little mad at her because she was punishing them for his wrongdoing. The more they interacted with her, the more both parties were sad and agitated. He noticed how much her hands would shake, and he noticed how much more irritated Vic became. The only person she has been kind towards was Thomas on a night out.

He finally had the gut to approach her after their interview with Nikkie. He wanted to tell her so much and apologise so much, but he needed the right time to do so, and he felt that that night was the night for everything to come out in the open. It was a few days before the grand finale, and it was time that the game of cat and mouse to come to an end. They stayed after their interview and watched and listened to her as she explained the meaning behind her song and how it came to fruition. The comment she made about being happier without him made him feel like shit. All his feelings would come out that night. It was long overdue.

They made sure that they were gone from the viewing room before she came out. For the rest of the day, Damiano was on edge thinking about his words carefully. He made sure that he had a script in his head about what he wanted to say and point out to her. As the time slowly creeped in, he got more and more nervous thinking that his choice was a bad choice. Maybe the chapter of them together was probably better off closed and unfinished. But he had to do this. An apology and explanation were long overdue to her and maybe, just maybe he can have her in his life again. It will probably never be like old times, but the least he can do is try.

He went to the smoking area a little early than what he told her to get there and sat down on one of the benches there. Cigarette after cigarette, he smoked in the span of 15 minutes that he came early, eager to see her walk through the door. Inpatient to see what she would say, what she would wear and how she would smell. In his head, he was going over all the fragrant notes her perfume had, the one she was wearing during their time in Italy, his safe heaven that turned hell. He wondered if she changed her perfume because from what he's seen, she changed her appearance completely. The once vintage loving, cottage core girl was gone and was replaced by an edgy girl. Her once blond curls were dyed black and are now straight.

Lost in his thoughts, he did not notice when the girl of the hour walked through the door. She found him sitting on the bench cross legged and deep in his thoughts. She stared at his for a few seconds before she cleared her throat to gain his attention. Damiano snapped out of his trance to be faced with the girl he was anxiously waiting for. "Margot..." – he whispered not getting anything in return. He stared at her for a few seconds like she stared at him before she made her presence known. He took her appearance and analysed it. She was wearing an oversized black shirt with some biker shorts; chunky chains were dangling from her neck and rings adorned her fingers that were accompanied by long black acrylic nails. He saw a few tattoos peak from under her sleeves of her shirt, small, dainty but at the same time edgy that littered her skin.

As soon as he was done ogling her, he offered for her to sit down next to him. She approached him and tentatively sat down on the far end of the bench, pulling her own pack of cigarettes and lighting one before Damiano had the chance to offer her a lighter. He watched with amusement as she inhaled a long puff and exhaled a cloud of cancerous smoke, all done gracefully. "You smoke now?" – he asked her in English because he knew she did not speak Italian, as he inhaled some of his own cancer smoke. "Here and there, whenever I need it." – she nonchalantly answered. "When you need it?" – he asked and cocked an eyebrow while staring at her. "I live a busy life and whenever I want a moment of peace I go for a smoke." – she explained. Damiano was silent for a moment before saying "I never took you as someone who would..." – but was rudely interrupted by Margot. "Why did you ask me to come here Damiano?" – Margot snapped at him which took him by surprise.

Damiano took a moment to collect himself due to the shock of her raising her voice suddenly at him. He never heard her yell, ever! He took a deep breath and started speaking. "I wanted to talk to you, to have a healthy conversation since everything crumbled beneath us. I know I am to blame for everything that went down, but I want to say what I have gathered in my chest over the past 3 years." – he took a pause to inspect her stare that was shooting daggers into him from her green eyes as he was looking towards the ground as he was speaking. "The girl you saw back then was really my ex-girlfriend. I broke up with her a few months before coming to the village. Our relationship started purely out of love, but as time went on, she became toxic and controlling to the point where when I tried to break up with her, she did her best to blackmail me into staying with her. She had pictures of me, she had videos of me doing things that I was not proud of. When my management found out about that, they made me stay with her, so she won't expose me." – he explained with a shaky voice.

Margot gave him space to see if he would say something else after that before speaking. "I don't care what she did before Damiano, I care about what you did. You made me believe that you loved me and that we had a future together no matter how young we were. You made me feel wanted so that right after she came you slipped the rug from under my feet and let me fall. I don't blame her for what happened, I blame you because you are the one that was with me, not her!" – she told him sternly to which he just huffed and continued. "I thought she would go out to the press with the pictures if I said something. When I broke up with her, she said she deleted the pictures, and I believed her, but when she came over, she had the same look in her eyes. The same look she had when I tried to break up with her before." – he exclaimed, hoping to get his point across. "No, Damiano, you proposed to her not even a year after you left me. Don't tell me that she blackmailed you to do that as well!" – Margot replied. "She did Margot! She did, she had a whole document typed out that she was going to release to the public if I did not propose!" – Damiano raised his voice.

"I saw the look that you had in your eyes Damiano. That look was not a look of despair. You were happy and in love and it was more than obvious on that damn picture. I know that look! Don't make excuses just because you did not want me anymore! Tell me the truth instead of these twisted lies!" – she yelled back at him. "I am telling you the truth; this is the truth! This is really what happened believe it or not! I have always been honest with you! I have never lied to you, never ever!" – he exclaimed while waving his hands around to deliver his point to her. "If that was the truth and you never lied to me then tell me why did you not trust me? Why did you not reach out and tell me Hey Margot my psycho bitch ex-girlfriend is blackmailing me into being with her instead of ghosting me and abandoning me? I wondered for months why you never reached out? Why you never called back? Why none of your friends reached out? I deserved an explanation and to be defended in that situation! I really loved you Damiano, you really were my everything! I felt like I finally had a friend group that gets me and wants to hang out with me because of me! Not because of who is my father and how rich I am! But, because of me! And you four destroyed that!"