Chapter 34

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Cheng looks at Zhan the whole time and notices him glancing now and then from the corner of his eye. He knows something is going down. Of course, he knows something is going down. He sees things; he knows things; and he pays much more attention to Zhan's matters than anyone thinks he does. He feels Zhan is bothered by something but unwilling to share it with him. "Why? Is it about that lunatic Yibo or something?"

 "Why? Is it about that lunatic Yibo or something?"

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He shakes his head. "No, I shouldn't be thinking like that. I already made a mistake in my hometown by accusing Zhan and hurting him without investigating the situation, so I don't want to repeat the same. It will not be good for our personal and professional lives."

As he thinks about it, he struggles to focus on rehearsal. He usually knows exactly what to say and where to push, understanding the weaknesses in his façade. But now, even as his fingers move over the fretboard, he can't bring the music to life.

Zhan calls it a break and does not aggravate the music, which Cheng has been killing for quite some time now. He goes to Cheng and grabs him by the wrist, dragging him to their dressing room. Putting the chairs in the middle, they sit and face each other to sort out the bothersome things.

"What is bothering you?" Zhan asks, placing his hand on Cheng's and expecting an answer.

Cheng looks at Zhan in the eyes, then averts his gaze away, hesitating to tell what's going on in his mind. "I..." He stares up at the ceiling, counting the number of popcorn studs he can find until he reaches sixty, and then continues with a little more conviction. "I feel like you're hiding something from me."

Zhan is quiet for a heartbeat. Then he tilts his head curiously to one side, looking suspiciously. "Do you think I am going to elope with Yibo?"

The silence is the only answer he needs, and it hurts him right in the heart. He wants to question whatever God makes these awful thoughts go through Cheng's mind. But he knows deep down that there may never be a satisfactory answer. Cheng's struggles with his inner demons are a battle that only he can fight.

Cheng shakes his head and looks back at the ceiling, trying not to show distrust. "I don't think so. I just..." He pauses, thinking for a long moment, and nods slowly. "Leave it." He halts the conversation when he doesn't want to continue it.

Zhan is bewildered, though he stares and squeezes Cheng's hand gently. "Don't think about unnecessary things. I have no plan for elopement. You know I don't break promises." He reminds him of the promise that they made in childhood. He will be by Cheng's side forever, no matter what.

Cheng nods and pulls Zhan into a hug, feeling relieved. His heartbeat goes back to normal and brings peace to his body. As he soothes Zhan's back and breathes in the sweet scent, he realizes something is wrong. Inhaling the scent again, he notices a sudden change in the fragrance—it becomes unpleasant.

Locking eyes with Zhan, Cheng searches for any signs of distress. He knows Zhan so well that any discomfort would be impossible to hide. As expected, he detects a hint of unease. Reaching out to touch Zhan's cheek, he quickly pulls back upon feeling its warmth. His suspicions are confirmed as he realizes Zhan has neglected to take his medicine.

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