unloved weapon

hug

as soon as I wake up I look to Clay.
but he's still sleeping, while his whole hair is a mess.

flashback*

I go trough his hair and he pushes me even more against the bed, while trying to get more of me.

he bites my underlip before breaking the kiss and staring into my eyes, forehead on forehead, with a loud breathing.

"you aren't bad." he tilts his head and smirks. i say nothing, but keep looking into his eyes without moving an inch.

he moves down to my neck and starts to kiss it, while I feel a warmth coming up.
my hand travels up to his hair again and my head falls back.

when he suddenly knocks out.

it says quiet and I don't move.

"Clay?" my voice sounds rough.
when I lift his head I see that he has fallen asleep..

the moment I lifted his head, was the moment I realised what we were just doing. I quickly get away from being under him and run to my bed, where I hide myself under the blanket.

end of flashback*

right.. fuck.
fuck!

what was wrong with me!
why did I kissed him back? why did I let him do that- how did it come that far!

.. oh no.
I hope he doesn't remember!
I mean he was drunk and didn't know what he was doing, but I was sober!

I knew what I was doing!

shit!

I quickly get up and walk into the bathroom as quietly as I can. I look into the mirror only to see a red, purple spot on my neck and my cheek.

a hickey on the neck..

"ugh." I throw my head back.
I wash my face, brush my teeth and slowly walk out of the bathroom.

"good morning." clay says with a sleepy voice and I immediately feel my cheek burn.
"did she bring me home?" he asks "huh?" i make.

"I can't remember anything." he touches his head "and my head hurts"
he can't remember?

"oh.. uh, I picked you up." I say "really? thanks." he smiles at me, when my heart suddenly starts to beat fast.

is it because we made up?
"yeah.." I walk back to my bed.

I didn't even know I was able to kiss like that-

but at least he can't remember.. it's less embarrassing.

"I've the feeling I kissed someone yesterday.." he mumbles "you haven't." I turn around.
"Marie said you didn't."

"okay..?" He says a little confused "what happened to your face?" he asks "my face-?"

right..

"a guy at the club." i say "a guy at the club?" he stands up "yes, he was about to hit you but his fist landed on my cheek."

"oh fuck-" he comes closer "this looks bad, you should g..." his words fade away as he gently touches my cheek.

"I gotta get going-" i quickly say before taking my phone and walking out of our room.

I breath in and out.
this is all his fault! fuck, what is happening to me?

"George."

I turn around.
"Today is our first lesson together." Tom says "today?" I mumble. "yes, I came here just for you." he smiles.