Midnight Wonders

5.5.2. The Passage of Lost Time

Luc found Elaine in the garden again. He stood in the middle of the path, watching her work a little ways ahead. Everything looked differently, and he closed his eyes, breathing in the scent of the flowers. It was sweet, almost...familiar.

"Oh, you're back." Luc opened his eyes, and Elaine had stood, wiping her hands on her dress. She gave him as a nod.

Luc approached. "You gave me my name," he said.

"Hm?" Elaine glanced at him as she bent to inspect one of the flowers.

"It was you."

"Ah." Elaine straightened. "Yes. I gave you your name. Isn't it a good one?"

"Tristan is home," Luc said.

"I know; I heard."

"I'm here."

"I know." Elaine looked at him. "Did he tell you?"

Luc nodded.

Elaine wiped her hands again, then stepped towards Luc. "It's been a long time." She embraced Luc, and everything was familiar and unfamiliar at once. It felt as if he should have known how this felt like, and somewhere in the back of his mind, he did. But it was not enough to remember.

It felt okay to not remember. It felt like he was being hugged for the first time.

—

Luc wasn't sure how much time passed at the Sycamore. Enough that he saw the King of the Sycamore three times, twice with Tristan and once with Emma, and all three times the King broke down into tears once more, though by the third time he had gotten much better at hiding it behind his handkerchief.

It had been long enough that he could almost think, almost naturally think of Elaine and the King of the Sycamore as his parents, and Tristan as his brother, and Cora as...not his sister. The last one was the hardest. He still didn't think he could quite accept it. For seven years he had been no one but Cora's brother. For four years it felt as if half of his life had revolved around her, the other half that wasn't occupied with work. Luc still didn't know how he would, if he could, reconcile his constructed, outside identity with the hidden one inside. He wished he could speak to Cora, but she was still at the Yew and he was here. Waiting.

He slept normally, or as normally as he could, on a schedule. Tristan had advised him to, and Luc had been reminded of Kay's explanation of time between Under-The-Green-Hill and outside. It helped him, too, to think of outside often. So he wouldn't get lost in...here. Inside.

Every time he woke he went out to find someone he knew, usually Morgan or Tristan, and ask them if it was Midsummer yet. Always the answer was no, and he had asked Tristan how they even know when Midsummer really was, if they didn't keep track of time, and Tristan had said that, well, it just felt like it. Luc figured that was the most satisfactory answer he was going to get, and there really was no use trying to press for more.

There wasn't much to do in Under-The-Green-Hill, he found. Everyone seemed to be preparing for Midsummer, but what exactly they were doing and why, he didn't quite know. Luc spent most of his time with Elaine in the garden, and with Morgan or Tristan or one of the other knights going around the Sycamore to refamiliarize himself with its winding halls (which he still did not remember and had a very hard time remembering), but most of the time he just sat around doing nothing. Waiting. It almost felt as if he were outside again.

"What did I use to do all day?" he asked Tristan as they walked through the halls.

"All day?" said Tristan. "Remember there aren't days. But I suppose you did as all the knights did and do. Go around and find people to help."