Stark's Shadow

Chapter 14 - That's What Friends Are For

I sat in my room, replaying the memory over and over. It didn't feel real, but I knew it was. I took my best friend's life. I was too weak to fight back. I should have tried harder.

I heard a knock at the door, "I'm coming in," Bucky walks in, "I'm not sure why I knocked, honestly. Just being polite, maybe?"

"Bucky, please," I whisper, my voice feeling dry, "I need to be alone."

"Is it the opposite day?" He asks, sitting down on the other end of my bed.

"No,"

"It wasn't you're fault, Olive," His voice is soft, but I can hear the pain in it.

I turn to him, looking right into his eyes. They're full of sadness, a broken man, "I should have tried harder," I whisper, "This is my fault."

"Why do you think that? You weren't in control,"

"Did you not hear the story? I was in control,"

"And if I was told the story right, you tried to save her," Bucky says, a slight smile on his face, "You fought to save her. She didn't want to leave."

I get up, walk to my closet, and try to hide there, "Leave me alone!"

"No!" I hear the door open Bucky sits next to me, "You shouldn't be alone. Trust me. I know how you feel."

I take a deep breath slowly. In and out, shutting my eyes. I get up and leave the closet. Bucky follows me. I keep my back to him. I hate to be rude, but he's making me feel worse.

"Olive, you can't run from this," He tells me in a serious tone, "You can't run from yourself. I'm going to help, even if you don't want help. I have done this all before. I know how it feels."

I turn around, mad now, "You know how it feels to murder your best friend? To watch the life leave their eyes?" My voice shakes, "Don't even fucking answer that; because I know you didn't. Steve is alive and well. Heather isn't."

"I understand the guilt of taking lives for no reason," He says quietly, "I know it's hard to deal with. The pain gets easier to deal with, but you need to accept it was not your fault."

I don't respond. I stare at him, mad. I feel myself shaking. He walks closer to me, slowly. He gently grabs my arms, looking at my face. I look back, trying to stay upset with him. A part of me knows he's right. I should listen to him. Not listening would be stupid, like if there was another hulk and they didn't listen to Bruce on how to handle it.

I started crying, hard. Bucky pulled me into a hug, "It's not your fault. You'll get through this, and I promise I'll stick with you the whole time," He tells me softly.

"I don't deserve this, Bucky. I killed her," I try to push him back, but he holds on tighter.

"It is not your fault," Bucky tells me. He's starting to sound like a broken record. I make sure to tell him that, and he laughs.

We sit down on the floor, "I'm sure if she could tell you anything right now, she'd tell you she forgives you," Bucky tells me.

I look up, "She did tell me that, actually,"

"She did?"

"Yes, and the memory has been going through my head, but I forgot that part until now,"

"Told you, not your fault," Bucky smiled at me.

"Yeah, she said the same thing. You two would have gotten along well," Bucky laughs, and I don't laugh with him, but I feel slightly better, "Damn, Barnes, you actually are helping."