After defeating Agrona, Arthur Leywin finally comes back to a Dicathen that is finally in a time of peace. But divides between the races, and the need for political discourse with a new continent means there is a lot of work ahead for the young lanc...
Arthur watched her go but he didn't race after her. She didn't blush or fluster anymore in front of him, but she sure ran pretty fast away from him. Arthur grinned. His childhood friend sure was weird.
How do you feel about me?
He sighed. He suddenly had a headache. He looked at her parents' graves one last time, remembering an old conversation he had with her father back when they went to school together.
"I somehow feel utterly confident that you will be able to protect my daughter in my and my father's stead."
Arthur was a mix of emotions now, just like he had been back then. Did he love Tessia? Of course, he did. She was one of the few constants in his life and knew that he would consider her family till the day he died. But did he love her? Did he consider her a sister? Or something more...
Tessia was right. He needed to take time and give her confession and his feelings a chance to settle. When she'd admonished him gently regarding his silence, he'd felt guilty for not saying anything back, but he felt he was being honest when he'd told her he didn't really know how he felt.
Truthfully, Arthur hadn't really given the kiss or her admission in the floating castle any thought. He'd heard it at the time and was incredibly happy. To this day, he still remembered the sensation of her lips on his own. But he was turned upside down soon after both events, and he didn't have the time to process whether it was simply teenage hormones getting the better of him or if it meant more to him. Tessia was having issues with her beast will, and she needed his help at the time.
Then after that, he'd been too caught up with the attack on Xyrus, his training in Epheotus, and his failure at the Wall. He didn't even really get the chance to mourn over his father's death before he was captured and dragged to Alacrya as a prisoner of war. And then finally, he had to work with Seris to lead a rebellion that ended the war once and for all.
He'd been on an emotional rollercoaster for the past four years, he thought to himself, a little piqued. But she understood this and hadn't pushed him at all, only now that he finally has some breathing room is she asking what he thinks about her.
He reached his room and entered, plopping down on his bed.
But she was right, though. He should think about it. There were no more excuses to avoid it. There was peace so he wasn't going to be able to claim he was busy. He sighed and put his hands behind his head, looking up at the ceiling of his room.
Did he love her back? He thought about it. He valued her friendship, that was for sure. She'd always been quite strange, but in all the conversations they'd shared, he found that she had a unique way of making him feel special and proud to be who he was, to never feel ashamed for where he came from or his failures throughout their lives.
He blushed as he remembered her kissing him again. He didn't know how to handle his emotions back then, so he simply tried to avoid her for some time until she needed him. He squirmed. He'd been such a bumbling, awkward little brat when he was younger.
Arthur thought of the time he'd almost fallen into despair during the war when his father had just died. Even as her heart must have been breaking from her failure to protect her homeland, she still went to him and comforted him and stayed with him until he fell asleep in her arms.
And that had made all the difference in the world. He'd held her hand and gathered strength from hers to continue on. To work to protect everyone he had left. Her presence had given him the courage to continue on and to fight against the toughest opponents he'd ever had to face.
But did he love her, though?
He was grateful. Grateful for her presence in his life.
Is that love?
He thought back again to his mother, recalling a conversation he had with her soon after his father was buried. When she'd told him about falling in love with his father, she'd said Reynolds was the man of her dreams.
Was Tessia the woman of his dreams? What does that even mean, anyway?
Alice had said his father had changed her. She said that Reynolds helped open her up again and encouraged her to become a capable emitter after she failed to save Lensa.
Did Tessia make him feel changed?
Heck, how would he even know? Changed from what? They had been inseparable for as long as he can remember!
He sighed then ran his fingers roughly through his hair.
"Argh!"
His head was hurting again. This was so hard.
What was love anyway?
Coming up with an answer was harder than he thought. All he had were more questions. He was going to have to see her again. He was still confused.
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