How To Find Your Future

2 - A Broken Heart

Charlie

Stupid.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

Why did I think it was worth it? Why did I have to go for it and put all of my heart into it, only for it to be ripped to shreds? Why did I go and do it in front of her friends? Not like it just being me and her would have changed anything. Except for the fact that I'd probably get less laughs.

I look down at the roses in my hand. Why did I go with roses? Why did I open my mouth at all? I knew it was a bad idea from the start. But I let El talk me into it. I knew I shouldn't have listened to him.

"Um... Hi, Eva."

She turns around, her blonde hair almost hitting me in the face. "Hi, Charlie!" she says.

I hold the flowers out to her. "These are for you."

And then it all went downhill from there.

Her eyes flicked from me to the flowers and back again for what felt like forever before a look I'd only seen appear on her face when something disgusted her. She tried to hide it by giving me a small smile, but it had been too late.

"I'm sorry, Charlie."

Her friends started to giggle. They put their hands over their mouths like that was going to hide the sound from me.

I dropped my hand down. The flowers drooped.

Her eyes flicked to her friends. Her cheeks puffed up like she too was trying to hold a laugh in. "But I don't like you like that. I never did and never will."

Stupid.

Why did I think she would ever like me? Why do I think that anyone would ever like me? I'm just some lame loser. Why do I put so much faith into romance? I see everyone else around me getting into relationships and having a grand old time, and then there's me.

Sure, I've only crushed on one girl and that was Eva and that crush lasted five years. I can't believe I liked her for five years just to have it end up like this.

I stomp my foot on the garbage pedal. The lid flicks up and before I can think I slam the flowers into it. "Love is stupid!" I cry into the empty house.

I shake my head.

"I'm stupid," I whisper.

I look around my house. The darkness seems to creep in from each corner. There's no color around anywhere.

I can't stay here. If I do I'll just wallow in my pity.

I pull my phone out of my pocket and unlock it. I open up my conversation with El and try to think of what to say. If I tell him the truth he'll think I'm a loser. And if I lie to him he'll just end up proving me wrong and I'll look like even more of a coward.

I sigh and put my phone back into my pocket.

Maybe a run will help me clear my mind.

I run up to my room, grab my earbuds, then run back downstairs and get my shoes on. I need to get my mind off of what happened today and to do that I'll need some fresh air, exercise and good music. I put my earbuds in and start blasting Imagine Dragons.

I lock the door behind me and take off. Each step takes a weight off my shoulder. The music blasting in my ears drowns out my thoughts.

***

Halfway through I realize I didn't think this through.

I stop and look around me. I'm down on Main Street where all the older looking buildings are. None of them look to be open anymore. I guess that makes sense since they're all locally owned and close at five o'clock.