How To Find Your Future

37 - The Falling

Charlie

I must be dreaming. I'm sure of it. There's no way that Olivia kissed me. That she wants me to be part of her future.

But she did. Her lips were on mine. I promised I would be in her future. I didn't dream any of it. Her hand was in mine. Her lips were on mine. It was better than anything I ever thought. She is amazing. And she likes me?

The pieces don't quite fit together in my head, but maybe, one day they will. For now I'll wait and be with her. I know it isn't a joke, but I keep waiting for something to tell me it is. But Olivia isn't Eva. She wouldn't do what Eva did to me. Not like how Eva embarrassed me in front of the whole school.

Before pulling away from Olivia's house I dial El. He will be able to tell me whether I'm dreaming or not. They'll also help me figure out what to do about my mom. They know my pain. Heard me talk about it over video games.

I know that Olivia is trying to help, but she doesn't get it. Not like El, but even he doesn't really get it. Only knows what I've vented and ranted about. Plus, I'd rather talk to him than my dad right now.

I drive away as the phone rings, and right as I think he won't pick up his voice fills my car. Just barely louder than the rain. "Yo. What's up?"

"Olivia kissed me," I blurt out. Not how I wanted to start, but... I can't stop thinking about it. About her.

There's a ruffle on the other side of the phone right before a loud, "What?" rings in my car.

I grin. "She kissed me! We kissed!"

"Dude! That's awesome!" I can't see him, but I can hear the excitement in their voice. Can imagine the huge grin he's wearing for me.

"I know! And it... it was amazing."

"Better than kissing dream Eva?"

I scoff. "Please." I roll my eyes. "It would be better than kissing the real one." It would be better than kissing anyone in the world.

"You're such a simp."

I snot but don't deny it.

For Olivia, I would be anything she wanted.

I sigh. "That's not all I called about."

He must hear the change in my voice. "What happened?" he asks, softly, like I'm a spooked animal. And, maybe I am.

"She brought up my mom and whether I should meet her or not."

"Shit."

I nod, even though he can't see.

The rain starts to fall faster and harder. I turn the speed on the wipers up a tad and slow to a careful speed. But my house isn't much further from here. "Yeah. And... I don't know what to do."

"And you're asking me?"

"Yeah."

There's silence on his end, leaving me with just the falling of the rain.

"Do what you want," they say. "Do you want to give your mom a chance? Or would you rather never see her again?"

I think about that. About how I've felt all these years towards her, about my rants. In every single rant I also said I just wanted to know her reasons. Did she just not contact us because she wanted to be better before seeing us? Or did she not care enough to?

"You know there's only one person who will understand," El says.

I sigh. "I know."

My house parts in the rain, only shown by the bright headlights of my car.