How To Find Your Future

36 - Floating

Olivia

Charlie's hand is in mine. I'm not imagining this. It's really his hand in mine as we leave the vet clinic.

Somehow, after how weird Harper was I feel like a balloon. Like I could fly up into the sky at any point. But as long as Charlie's hand is holding mine I will stay grounded.

I've never felt like this before.

I don't know whether to be happy about feeling like this, or to be mad and blame someone for it. But who would I even blame? And frankly, I don't want to blame anyone.

We make it back to Charlie's car and instead of releasing his hand and getting in, I turn around so my back is against his car. His chest level with my neck. He grins down at me, a loopy look on his face.

To anyone watching we might look like two love-sick teenagers. That's how I want to look. That's how I feel.

I take a shaky breath. His brows lower and concern wipes the happiness off his face. I want to reach up and put the smile back on his face. Make him look at me with those puppy eyes.

Is that selfish?

"What's wrong?" he asks. His hands leave mine and run up my arms. A shiver runs through me.

"Nothing." I shake my head. "Everything is fine." Better than fine. It's amazing.

Am I really about to do this? Forget the fudge idea. The moment is now.

He smiles. It's a little shaky, but it's still a smile.

"Charlie..." The rest of the words die on my lips. Why did I think this was a good idea? Why didn't I practice like I've done for every presentation? Why didn't I prepare?

"Yeah?" He quirks his head to the side.

I take a deep breath. Start with what just happened. That's a good place to start, right? I look down at our shoes. My white converse and his black running shoes. "When Harper started to scare me I thought that this job wouldn't be for me. I didn't want to turn out like her."

"And you won't!" He bends so his eyes can see mine.

I grin. "I know. Just... let me speak, okay?"

He nods. Worry dances in his brown eyes.

"And I really thought 'that's it. My future will never be made known to me.' and then you wrapped your arm around me protectively and I thought-" I chuckle like it's funny, but really, I'm laughing to hide my nerves. "And I thought 'this is it. This is the one part that I know will always be apart of my life.'"

His brows lower as confusion replaces the worry on his face. "I don't follow."

I laugh. Not to hide the nerves this time but because of how cute he is.

Did I really just think that? It's true but... still, such a weird thought to have. "It means that even if I don't know what job I'll have for the rest of my life, it won't matter."

His face falls. "It won't?"

I shake my head. "No. Because I know one part of my future, and right now, that's enough for me."

He straightens but the confusion doesn't leave his face. "You're making this really hard to follow. I thought the vet career was your future?"

I nod. "And it probably will be. But..." I hum, trying to think of how to word it. "But that will take awhile, I know it will. And I'll still do it but right now, there's one thing for my future that I know will work out." I shrug. "Or, well, hope will work out."