How To Find Your Future

30 - The Past Is Tiring

Charlie

Olivia leaves shortly after that. Milly lets me play with Max until my dad gets here in the backroom. Unfortunately for me I'm not allowed to be alone. And Milly isn't one who knows what quiet is.

"So, if you and that girl aren't dating why do you seem so close?"

Max jumps into my lap as I hold his ball above him. "Well, I'm helping her out."

Milly nods and brushes that aside. "Right. But like," She titles her head to the side. "You seem closer than that. Almost like you'd be ready to get into a relationship with her."

Is it worth it to lie to this complete stranger? It's not like I'll ever see her again or anything. It's not like she'll be able to blab to Olivia about my feelings.

"I do like her," I whisper. I stare down at Max as he jumps and tries to get the ball from my hand. My other one goes up and rubs his head, he leans into my hand.

"I knew it!"

I glance at her quickly. "What do you mean you knew it?!" My panic surges. Is it that obvious?

Milly has the decency to look sheepish. "Well, it's- um, you're very much in awe when you see her."

"In awe?"

Milly stops and is quiet for a moment. Thank god. I didn't think she had it in her.

"Maybe I used the wrong word. You just seem to really care for her." Her gaze softens. "Have you thought about telling her?"

I sigh and look back down at Max. "I have," I say. "It's just... What if she doesn't feel the same way? Or I embarrass myself?"

"Would all that really matter?"

"Yes!"

Milly walks over and sits in front of me. Her gaze soft as she reaches out and puts a hand on my knee. "If you truly like her you'll show her. And sure, if she rejects you it'll sting, but it'll be worth it. Right?"

I think back to Eva. It really stung with how she treated me. I know her and Olivia are two different people and that Olivia won't embarrass me the same way that Eva did. And, maybe Milly is right. It would be nice to get my feelings out there. To be able to stop acting like I don't want to hold Olivia's hand every time I see her.

"Thank you, Milly."

She smiles. "You're welcome. I hope everything will work out between the two of you."

I smile. Max licks at my fingers and tries to bite them. "Me too."

***

"Thanks dad," I say as I place Max down in my car.

Dad smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes. I frown as I notice for another time the bags under his eyes and how tired he looks.

Maybe that's a sign he isn't seeing anyone?

"You're welcome kiddo. I know you've been having a rough time. We both have and I think this little guy will help us both."

I grin and look down at Max who's now taken to snuggling up in Olivia's sweater.

Oh no.

I still have Olivia's sweater.

"You okay?" My dad places a hand on my shoulder.

I shrug him off. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. I'll uh... see you at home?"

He raises an eyebrow. "Yeah. Sure."

I grin and wait for him to leave first before running into my car.

"How did I not remember to give her her coat? How could I forget to do that?" I place my head against my steering wheel. Maybe the bakery is still open and I'll be able to drive by and drop it off. I pull my phone out of my pocket only to be hit with a wave of disappointment. It's past five o'clock. They're closed.