How To Find Your Future

34 - The Perfect Girl

Olivia

I really wish I didn't have to do this. But I know I need to. It wouldn't be right to just leave Nick hanging and not explain to him how I feel.

It wouldn't be right.

I just wish the sensible part of me didn't think that today was the best day to do it. But every part of me - even the scared part - knows this has to be done today. Afterall, my last job appointment is tomorrow, and I could be ready to tell Charlie how I feel any moment after that. A shiver still goes down my spine just thinking about confessing to him.

"Hello?" A hand waves in front of my face, causing me to blink and jump back a little. "Are you okay?" Nick asks, looking down at me.

I nod. "I'm fine," I murmur, turning my attention back to the batch of fudge I'm mixing.

Nick raises an eyebrow at me as he turns back to pouring his batch into the molds. "Are you sure? You zoned out there for quite a bit."

I hum. "Yep! Totally fine." Come on. Just spit it out. I have to tell him eventually, and right now is the perfect chance to.

It's just the two of us in the backroom making fudge for the long day ahead of us. Sasha's up front getting everything up there ready for open. When we arrived she hadn't wasted anytime before running off to the front and leaving me alone with Nick. Part of me wanted to run after her while the other half just wanted to get this done and over with.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Nick places his hip against the counter. "You just zoned out, again."

I sigh and place the bowl and mixer in my hand, down. "I'm... overall, I'm fine. I just... I have something on my mind that I need to talk to you about."

A sly smile snakes onto his face. "Oh yeah? And what would that be?"

I take a deep breath. I rub my hands together and look down into the dark goo of the chocolate fudge. "This has been something that I've wanted for awhile," I start, gesturing between the two of us. I look up at him, trying to portray with my eyes that I'm not talking about what he thinks I am.

His brows lower. "What do you mean? I thought we talked about this?"

I nod. "We did but I feel like I need to explain more."

He nods. "Go ahead then?"

Maybe this won't be as hard as I thought it would be. "I don't want this any more."

"What- what do you mean? I know that the kiss was bad but that's no indication."

"I mean. This is something I used to want. I used to like you like that, Nick, but I don't anymore." I avert my gaze from his heartbroken one. "I still want you in my life. But as a friend. And the kiss? I'm sorry, Nick. But it wasn't everything I wanted it to be. It wasn't even good."

He sighs. "I- I really thought that..." He sighs again. "I know it took me a while to see you as less than a sister and more as someone who I like but... I didn't realize it took me that long. I'm sorry, Olivia." His voice cracks as he says my name.

I shake my head. "I think that no matter how long it took you to realize that this never would have worked. We may work together well as co-workers but would we really have worked well together? We don't even know that much about each other."

He chuckles. "I guess you're right there."

I look back up at him, hope blooming in my chest. "So we're good then?"

He nods. "Yeah. We're good."

I grin. Not too big and happy, but not too sad and small. I turn back to my bowl and continue to mix the fudge mixture.

After a few moments of silence, Nick asks, "It's Charlie, isn't it?"

I look up at him and try to hide the blush that creeps up on me. "What about Charlie?" I croak.

He chuckles and shakes his head. "You like Charlie, don't you?"

"I never said that Charlie was the reason for-"

He shakes his head. "No. I didn't mean it like that. I respect your decision but I can't help but feel like you might have feelings for Charlie? Sorry if I'm prying where I'm not welcome."

I toss the idea around. Should I tell Nick that he's right? Or would it just be another needle digging into him? I don't want him to think that Charlie is the whole reason I'm not interested in him anymore. Because it isn't. The kiss we shared showed me that Nick and I aren't meant for each other.

I shrug. "And if I do like him?" I ask, turning back to my fudge so I can start pouring it into a mold.

"I think you two would work. And, I can tell Charlie really cares for you."

Well, there goes hiding my blush. "What do you mean?"

Nick side-eyes me with a raise of his brow. "Are you serious?"

I nod. At least, I think I am?

He laughs. "Well, one of the first time's he started showing up everyday he would ask for your favorite fudge, anytime you were in you were the only thing he'd look at. And, there was this one time where he looked a little jealous of us."

"Of us?" My voice pitches high. "Why would he be jealous of us?"

Nick shrugs. "Maybe because we had almost kissed."

My eyes widen as it dawns on me. How stupid can I be? I bury my face in my hands. "Oh my god. I can't believe Charlie has had feelings for me this whole time and I never noticed!"

He chuckles. "I don't find it hard to believe. It seems like everyone is a little oblivious to that sort of thing."

I groan. "But I shouldn't be! I'm supposed to be this girl who knows everything! And if I can't even realize a guy likes me then how will I ever be able to find the career for me?"

Nick grabs my wrists and pulls my hands away from my face. He doesn't speak until I look up at him. "You'll find it."

"How do you know that?" I whisper.

"Because you are amazing and determined. You won't stop until you find the perfect job for you. And I don't think Charlie will give up on helping you."

I smile softly. "Thank you, Nick."

He grins and releases my wrists. "No problem." He picks up his own bowl and tosses it into the sink. "Shall we finish this batch?"

I nod. This isn't how I expected this to go. But I'm glad that it went this way and that Nick was so understanding about it. It's even better that he supports me and Charlie, especially because I didn't want to lose Nick. He's such a great friend of mine because of this bakery and I don't know what I would do if I lost that.

As the wheels turn in my head I start to come up with an idea. I know Naomi and Sasha offered to help me but they don't know how a guy works. But Nick is a guy and he'll know how one works.

"Actually," I say slowly as the idea starts to really take shape. A sly grin slides onto my face. "Would you be willing to help me with something?"