How To Find Your Future

43 - Shall We

Charlie

I did what?

I rub the sleep out of my eyes as the phone call comes back to me. There's no way I said that. But I did. I remember shaping the words, I remember them slipping out of my lips and then falling to sleep after.

Did she say them back?

I shake my head. That doesn't matter. She probably didn't even hear me say those three words in my sleep-induced voice.

But what if she did? Did I just completely miss that and now I'll never hear her say them as the first time again?

Why am I such an idiot? Why did I let the words out? Sure they're true but it definitely wasn't the right moment to be saying them.

I groan as I get out of bed. A lump still under the blankets. I roll my eyes at Max, but truly I wish I could crawl back into bed and forget about last night. But I can't. And today I have to face Olivia, and I have no idea whether to hope she heard me or to hope she didn't.

Once I'm ready and sitting down and eating I ask dad, "Have you ever told anyone you loved them and then fell asleep right after?"

He looks at me like I'm crazying before laughing. I take a deep breath, trying to not let the heat that's building in my chest, out. He whips his eyes. "I've neve done that. But I've done something similar."

"Really?" The heat disappears.

He nods. "One time, I was out partying and my current girlfriend was there. I got so drunk that I guess I told her I loved her."

"You guess?"

He grins. "I forgot about it until the next day when she told me before breaking up with me."

My eyes widen. "Actually?"

He nods and chuckles. "Yep. Though I had it coming. I was kind of a jerk to her."

"Do you think that's what Olivia will do with me today? Break it off?" My throat seems to close up at the thought.

He shakes his head. "No way. Olivia seems to really care about you and you seem to really care about her." I nod. "So if anything it'll just be a little awkward, but she won't break up with you just because you said it."

"Are you sure?"

He brings his coffee mug up to his lips before nodding. "Did I ever tell you about the first time I told your mom I loved her?" he asks as he sets the mug back on the table.

I shake my head.

"We had just gotten back to my dorm room after a concert. I was tired and maybe a little drunk." He winks as if this is a secret between us. "We kissed and as we pulled apart I said into her mouth that I loved her."

I scrunch up my face. "Into her mouth?"

He nods. "It didn't sound like the words, but it was."

"That's so gross."

His laughter fills the room. "It was. But sometimes that's what love is. Messy and gross."

I can't help but laugh at that. "I've never heard love be called gross."

He shrugs. "Sometimes it is. But other times it's amazing."

I nod and roll my eyes. "Okay. I get it."

He lifts a brow. "Do you?"

"Yeah."

"So are you ready to face Olivia then?"

"More than ready. Thanks, dad."

He grins. "Glad I could help."

***