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s1 ep 3: #saveprince

"Prince? Why does Reo-san still hate me?"

Chris Prince, the esteemed, wonderful, friendly Chris Prince, wanted to drop-kick this random-ass Japanese kid into a wall.

It was nonstop, the relationship questions. Whenever they were alone, whenever he was training, whenever he was getting ready, whenever he ate, they always came.

"Is it because I don't shower? I've been trying." Nagi complained. "And I've been getting better at soccer. Why doesn't he like me still?"

Before Chris could respond, his phone buzzed.

gemini: i see you on camera prince

gemini: dont fuck up lol

Reassuring. Chris took a deep breath before beginning. What he said now could completely make or break his appeal.

"You see, kid, I am not homosexual, so I'm afraid that I can't really help you in that department." Chris decided on saying. He immediately got a text, but he didn't bother to check. "But do you know who could help you?"

"Who?" Nagi exclaimed, actually animated. Chris was about to laugh at him, he felt so bad.

"Gimme a sec and I'll hook you up," Chris said, picking up his phone, completely ignoring the group chat that was currently blowing up. Opening his contacts, he called a particular gay soccer player he knew and loved.

"Hi, Noa!" Chris cheered into the phone, putting it on speaker.

"The fuck do you want."

Chris spared a nervous glance at the camera, laughing awkwardly. "Nagi hold on a moment."

Chris spun around in his chair before getting up and walking away. He picked up his phone and turned off the speaker.

"Noa? Noa, I need your help." Chris frantically whispered. "The kid's bothering me, and I can't help him."

"This is not my issue."

"Help me and I'll get you a pack."

Silence.

"Promise?"

"I fucking promise, Noa." Chris spared a glance at Nagi, who was looking at him expectantly.

"Deal. Put me on speaker."

Chris cheered, pumping his fists as he slammed his phone onto the table. "Nagi, I've hooked you up with a professional!"

"...Okay..." Nagi muttered, understanding nearly none of the nuance in Chris's words, regardless of the Mikage translators. "Hi, sir. I need help."

"I can see that, kid."

Chris nearly burst out laughing as Nagi shot him a concerned glance. He regained composure, straightening up in his chair as he eyed the camera. He didn't want to look like an asshole on live television.

"So what are you trying to do here."

"I want Reo to love me again."

All this was old news to Chris Prince because Nagi hadn't shut up about it. Every day, every night, it was the same old, same old. And Reo was utterly oblivious because every year teenagers got dumber and dumber. Was he like this in high school? He didn't think so.

There was silence for a while from Noa's side of the phone. Uncharacteristically quiet. Then, Noa breathed out really fast.

"That's uh— cool."

"I mean, even if I did 'abandon' him, and I didn't even abandon him, that's still—"

"Pause," Noa said through the phone as Chris choked back a laugh. This was not happening. "You abandoned him?"

"I didn't abandon him. I just said that I wanted to team up with Isagi."

There was definitely more to that story.

"And then I told him he was a pain in the ass after beating him at soccer. But that doesn't mean—"

Chris threw his head back and cackled. He couldn't help it. He felt evil. But goddamn, this was stupid.

Noa snorted on the phone.

"What's the matter, Prince? What's so funny?" Nagi asked, to which Chris responded by falling out of his fucking chair, laughing all the way. He was convulsing on the ground, whining, screaming, barely breathing as Nagi looked on in horror.

"I'm sorry—I have to go," Noa said, choking down laughter as the call ended.

The call opened to the group chat, where everything and anything was blowing up. Nagi looked over in interest, reading the texts with bare minimum comprehension.

gemini: LMFAOOO

shahaha: I FEEL SO BAD LMAO

tea: that shit was sad

chucky: this is like the first time ive ever seen noa laugh out loud

lavinie: what happened

chucky: prince and noa tried to help nagi pull reo

chucky: but instead they just ended up laughing in his face

lavinie: bro i just laughed out loud and my kids are looking at me funny

hohoho: FUCK YOU CHRIS

hohoho: GET ME MY CIGARETTES OR ILL FUCK YOU UP

redespacito: youre gonna fuck him?

hohoho: NO

tea: we know that youre gay

tea: why else would chris call you about gay people

hohoho: i hate you all

ouioui: GUYS EGO SAID NITTA COULD COME

gemini: come???

ouioui: 😐

a/n: ong nagi was deadass looking for relationship advice and chris and noa just laughed at him 💀💀💀 f in the chat for our boy nagi

also btw, nitta is from my jjk fanfic but you dont gotta read it to understand him (even if you do you still wont understand him at all 💀💀)

stay safe, and save prince