No Regrets. Just Love//romerica

ch 05

Lovino didn't know where he was going or what he'd do when he was tired. The fallen tears had forced tire onto him and he became sleepier and sleepier with the sounds around him.

He decided it'd be best to go to his brother's house. He had nowhere else to go and he knew the couple would let him stay as long as he needed to.

He was walking along the river when anger overcame everything. Anger and hatred ate away at the sleepiness and the sadness until his emotions boiled down to only rage.

While walking, a taller, lighter man ran into him on the sidewalk. Lovi was livid and pushed the man; he did nothing in return.

"Hey! Watch where you walk Bastardo!"

He kept walking, tears threatened to fall and he increased his pace. His cheeks burned with the salty water from his eyes. His mind raced with memories of his past and he broke down.

The tears spilled from his eyes and his thoughts were interrupted by sudden angry outbursts. He could help but think about how much he hated Antonio, one particular thought raced through his mind quickly but it got his attention and he caught it before it was gone forever.

"i hate everybody."

He knew it wasn't true, though. He loved plenty of people. Lovino loved his brother, Feliciano, he loved his Nonno Roma, but at one point he thought he loved Toni. He didn't realize someone he'd cared for so much could slip through his fingertips in the span of two hours.

He decided he didn't want to hate Antonio, he had brought so much into his life, Lovi wanted to hold that part of his life close to him, but it wasn't possible. Lovino knew he'd never forgive him, no matter how important he ever was.

"I hope he burns in Hell for this!"

"Go to Hell Toni!" Lovino shouted at the rushing river, at the trees staring back at him, at the crows in their nests, at Antonio Fernandez Carriedo.

He received a few dirty looks from a couple passing by and other pedestrians scattered around the streets. He glared back at them, holding his hands up with an unpleasant gesture while tears began to gather at his hazel eyes, again. He attempted to blink them away, but more clumped together at the edges and finally they streamed from his eyes while invasive thoughts about Antonio drifted back into his mind.

He didn't understand why Toni was still dancing across his mind. Lovino couldn't figure why the Spanish man, he had met through Feli, was batting his long, black eyelashes at him, gazing into his eyes with the sparkling kaleidoscope of emerald green and earthy brown specks dotting the irises. Why was Antonio still on his lips, tasting of cake batter after a long, flour-stained night of baking. How come Lovino could still hear his guitar finding its way into his ears, the soft, acoustic melody becoming a sweet lullaby? Why was Antonio there?

Lovino wiped his eyes, tears collecting on the back of his hand, and then transferred onto his jeans. He looked around and was surprised to find he was on Bakers Street. Lovino drug his feet to the house with the German flag hanging in the window and rang the doorbell.

When it eventually opened, several moments later, Lovino found a blond man standing at the steps; his glasses were crooked and his shirt was wrinkled, but most importantly, Lovino had never seen him before in his life.