A funeral... A Wedding... One Church

I am sorry!

The door was really really heavy. No matter how hard I threw myself it didn't seem to open for a couple of minutes.

Am I really this useless?

Is this is?

I know I can do it.

Just one last time.

I have to pray just one last time before it's over.

I put my whole will into this and pushed the door until I finally managed to open it. What I didn't expect or thought was that there were people inside. I still couldn't see all that well but I could see the room being decorated with white.

What a waste...

I just ruined a wedding...

Me: ... sorry....

It was all I could muster while I dragged my body over to the the front ignoring the gasps and the hands that were coming closer. Everything was blurry and I really didn't care at all but I pushed through and walked and walked until I got to the front.

Me: Sorry....

I could only repeat that while I evaded the two people standing there and go further up the stairs to the podium and in front of the cross. It was only then that I let my tired body fall to the ground. Slowly I moved my hands up as they were shaking worse than leaves in the wind. I wanted to pray and I wanted to put my hands together while I would look up and wish for what I always wanted. 

Please!

God or anyone if you can hear me right now...

Please give me a quirk...

A life...

A peaceful second chance.

I swear I was a god boy!

I never stole or did anything wrong.

I just don't deserve this precious life you gave me.

I am sorry for being a siner and trying to take my life.

I am sorry for being a uselesscreation.

I am sorry to be a failure.

Please don't abandoned me!

By now tears or blood or whatever started dripping down my cheek. I was not sure if it were tears or if it was blood but it stung and I felt getting tired. This was soon to be over and I felt it. All the energy was starting to leave my body but I couldn't stop praying I had to tell god what a mistake I was. I just had to tell anyone just anyone my story.

I really want to have a family.

I want to be loved.

I want to feel the warmth everyone feels.

I just don't want to feel sad anymore.

What did I do to deserve this?

Did I offend you?

I always came here every week and prayed for all my life. 

I always prayed and helped out.

I even volunteered to help the church.

And yet all I got in return were beatings.

Is this what it is called living a live being a sinner.

Or did I do something wrong in my previousl life?

Do I really deserve this treatment when I can't remember what I did?

Is this fair?

Please!

Please god if you hear me.

Make this stop.

I can't go on anymore.

I am lonely.

I am scared.

I am cold.

I just want to feel loved!

So...

Me: Please.....god.... please.... *bloody cough*

Without even realizing it, these couple of words came out of my mouth and that was when I got the urge to start coughing. My body instantly tensed up as I started coughing and leaned forward. Breathing was really hard. Still I was glad that I could do at least this much. Now I could leave it up to faith. Whatever happened next was up to god to decide. I did my job.

Relieved washed over my small broken body and before I knew it, everything went black but before I could actually hit the floor, I felt someone catching me. It was only now that I could hear what was going on around. Only now when all senses left my body and I felt ice cold, could I hear the screams inside the church.

???: CHIO!

???: DON'T DROP HIM!

???: I AM HERE, MOVE!

???: OH GOD! 

???: It's okay Zashi. 

???: But Nem this is our wedding day and this happens.

???: You couldn't have known that.

???: FUCK!

???: Sho?

???: SOMEONE CALL AN AMBULANCE NOW!

???: I ALREADY DID!

???: IS HE?!

???: SHUSH! All of you shut up! I need to concentrate!

???: What happened to the kid?

???: Vlad is already tracking back the bloody footprints.

???: *sigh*

???: Quite intruiging that he could still move.

???: Intruiging my ass! He is lucky he somehow is still breathing. NOW WHERE IS THE AMBULANCE?! I can only stabilce him for a short time. He needs surgery!

That was all I could hear before my consciousness faded away completly.