A funeral... A Wedding... One Church

Last chance... Last Straw!

The healer did come like they said she would but not only that they definitely were right with the healing and getting better part because physically I was definitelly getting better but mentally I was still where I was at the beginning. I was just glad I could move again and this dog, Topaz, was definitely something else. I mean she never let me be alone and that was honestly for the better. Who knows how my mind would react if I would be all alone after such a long while of just laying in bed and being useless.

Today was a bit different tho. Thankfully I could walk and move again but it took a couple of weeks for that to happen. In these weeks I always faked my smile when the heroes or my new parents would be around. I couldn't help but just smile at them and try to easy their worries. Besides how could I not smile around the cat chasing the the parrot and then get chased by it around the whole place? Besides that I got Topaz with me at all time and she was overjoyed and overshowering me with love and affection. I couldn't help it but think that this dog knew what I was fighting inside of me.

I am thankfull to the heroes for saving me but was it worth it?

I mean in the last week they were just coming and going...

What did I even expect?

They are heroes and are busy after all.

No wonder they got me a dog...

Well at least I am not alone. 

Still I feel alone.

It is as if they aboned me.

I know its not right but why do I feel this emptiness in my chest right now?

It was all good at the beginning but why did it change?

I am just making them troubles and they are not blaming me for anything.

Are they for real or not?

Are they just there so I wouldn't  commit?

Or were they sincerely worried...

I don't know anymore.

It feels real but at the same time it also feels as if it would be forced.

Did they even wanted to have a kid?

They probably didn't wanted to have a failure like me.

Today was another day where both of them were not home. At first they were both around me and then slowly it started changing. Either Yamada or Aizawa were here around me after 2 weeks and at the 3rd week I was left alone from time to time. I had to say that I didn't realize it as much when I was in the bed but recently, now that I could actually walk around, I could find notes everywhere saying this is there and this is there and they are called for a mission or that they had to go to patrols. For me it was just a sign that they got bored of me and that they would discard me soon but for some reason even though I knew this would happen, it hurt soo much.

Me: Am I really this useless....

Topaz: WOOF

Me: I know... at least you are there for me.

I hugged my dog since she was always around me. If there would be a time without her then who knows what I actually might do. At this point I was scared of being alone and I couldn't even think about being alone or not having Topaz around me.

Me: They are still not back even though they said they will be back around 6 pm.... It's already 9.....

Topaz: AROOO!

Me: ... Thanks for at least being with me.

Earlier that evening I decided to cook something for my tired parents but they never came back home and I was on the couch with Topaz in my arms. She was rather big but I didn't care and it didn't stop me from actually hugging her at all. Her fur and just having her in my arms was enough for me to calm a bit down but this feeling of abandonment and the feeling of this emptiness inside me was eating away at my own consciousness. I didn't know how long I could last with this feeling but Topaz was definitelly a big help there. 

Me: Thanks for being here with me Topaz.

I knew that this dog was as afraid being alone as I was but for some reasons she seemed braver than me and she also seemed to care a lot. She never asked me for a thing, never barked nor made any sound if not when I was talking to her. It was as if she could understand me and my actions witohut a word and when I was talking as well. She was my life saving anchor and the last straw I created, the very last chance in life I was willing to bet on.