Freaking Out

178 7 0
                                    

Jade's POV

Vega walks through the door and yet again Beck is trying to kiss me it makes me sick I don't really understand it truthfully. So I tell him to stop and steal glances at her she is absolutely beautiful as always and I don't know why but when she smiles my heart skips a beat, every time she laughs my stomach does flip flops, and when she looks at me my breath catches in my throat. I feel bad for treating her like total shit but she started it by kissing my boyfriend. I have no clue what started it or why she kissed him but it pissed me off not sure if it was the fact she kissed him or she wasn't kissing me. What the hell am I saying? Why would I want Vega to kiss me?

I shake my thoughts from my head and of course Sikowitz climbed in the window only to make us do this stupid exercise. It's my turn and hurry to finish thankfully I was able to talk my group into doing a scene from a horror movie. Of course we nailed it and went back to our seats and instantly Beck put his arm over my shoulder and I tensed up as always he didn't notice. Once everyone was done Sikowitz told us about the camping trip and said I had to share a tent with Cat which I was fine with she is my best friend after all. As soon as he said Vega's name I flipped out.

I instantly felt like shit because the venomous words that left my mouth made Vega walk out with tears starting to go down her cheeks. I mentally kicked myself. Once out of class Cat walked into the bathroom me right behind her and it broke my heart she was crying because of me. (What did I do? Is there anything I can do to fix this?) I question myself but as soon as I hear Cat ask if she is ok the look on her face proves just how worried she is. She says she is fine and not to worry but that is a total lie I broke her all because I'm such an insecure bitch who can't show her true self.

As myself and Cat walk out I see André talking to Beck but instead of going over to him I decided I'm going to listen in. What I heard had my blood boiling he seriously thought that just because we were going camping he was going to get me to sleep with him. I walk over turn him around and slap him in the face with everyone watching I figured it would be perfect to embarrass the hell out of him. I looked him in the eyes and went off worse then I ever had and it surprised the hell out of me and everyone else.

"In the whole time we have been together you seriously think I'm just going to fuck you. I won't even let you put your disgusting hands up my shirt." I said with so much hatred.

"I don't even like kissing you because it makes me want to puke but the fact you think you can get into my pants because you're a pretty boy makes me want to punch you in the face. Not now not ever will I give up my virginity to you no matter how much you beg." I said.

"Oh by the way we are over I have feelings for someone else anyways and you were just a distraction. I don't want to talk to you ever again and by the way I never loved you." Which was only a partial lie I was just pissed at him.

I hoped at lunch I would see Vega but she never showed up and it made me sad I wanted to apologize for what I said in class she didn't deserve it. Even once school was over I still didn't get a chance to talk to her. Instead of doing what I knew I should have done I went home and curled up in bed and cried. My mom came to my door and knocked since she hadn't seen me yet. My dad isn't in the picture the jackass left us because he didn't want a daughter who was a disappointment.

She came in when I didn't answer her and she just cuddled into me while I cried. No words spoken but I knew I could count on her to be there when I needed to talk even if she was busy. I'm always such a gank to people but it's mostly a defense mechanism. I'm tired of getting hurt when people I start to care about walk away and leave me broken all over again. So I built these walls around my heart and hide my true self from everyone around me even my own mom.

I decided it was time to open up about everything but I just don't know how or even where to start. Before I could even speak my mom kissed my head said she loves me and will listen when I'm ready. I figured I would call Cat and have her come over so we can talk and try to come up with a solution to my issues. I trust her more than I have trusted anyone in the last 5 years. I told my mom I just needed time to think things out to which she agreed. Before walking out she turned to me and smiled and told me she loved me.

Text

Jade: Hey can you come over please?
Cat: Sure be there in 20 minutes.
Jade: Thanks I just need my best friend.
Cat: Kay Kay anything for my best friend.

After texting Cat I tossed my phone on the bed and decided to take a fast shower and put on some comfortable clothes. Just about 20 minutes later she walks in my room and I just hug her which caught her by surprise briefly but hugged me back all the same. I started to open up more to Cat she already knew how I felt about Vega but kept it a secret since I asked her to. My heart pounding out of my chest I asked her if she would be there while I explained everything to my mom. Of course she said yes I expected nothing less from Cat Valentine super sweet and corky.

"Hey mom I'm ready to talk if you're still willing to listen, and there is a lot so it's going to take me a bit." I said hoping she didn't change her mind.
Cat held my hand under the table to help give me courage once mom sat down and nodded her head for me to continue.

"Well you already know about how I treat people other then Cat she is my best friend. Yet she still hasn't been able to see the real me because of my walls I built." I said with a sad smile.

"There is this girl at school that I treat worse then anyone else and today was the worst yet it made me hate myself because I made her cry. I wanted to apologize but I don't think she will believe me."

"See on her first day of school I walked into see her kissing Beck but of course I didn't give her a chance to explain. I dumped coffee on her head it was iced coffee not hot don't worry." I said cat squeezed my hand to help steady my breathing.

"I treated her so bad but I couldn't understand my own feelings about her. I thought I hated her because she kissed my boyfriend but it turns out it's...." I stop and take a deep breath.

"It's because this absolutely beautiful girl wasn't kissing me. I have known for a long time now that I didn't have feelings for boys but Beck was different I thought I could trust him but I was wrong." I said.

"Myself and Cat overheard Beck telling André that he planned on taking my virginity while camping. I was so beyond pissed and slapped him told him we were over and that I never loved him." I said in one breath.

"Mom I'm a lesbian and I'm sorry if I have disappointed you as well." I said.

Wow that felt so good to get out I feel like so much weight has been lifted off my chest. Before I could even think about anything else I waited for my mom to say something. Her eyes were huge that was a lot to take in I'm sure. It was definitely a lot for me to even say. Once she was able to comprehend everything I said she stood up and walked around the table and wrapped me in her arms.

"Sweetheart you are my daughter and I love you more then words could ever express. You are the best thing to ever happen to me and you could never disappoint me." She said.

"The only thing that I'm upset about is how you treated this poor girl I bet you anything the whole kissing Beck thing was a huge misunderstanding."

"What's her name, and what do you truly feel for her?" She asked.

"Her name is Tori Vega and I think I might be In Love with her. No I take that back I am madly in love with her and I can't see a future without her in it." Wow holy shit where did that come from.
Cat and my mom both just smiled at me once I finished what I said.

Project Camp with SikowitzWhere stories live. Discover now