Project Camp with Sikowitz

On The Road

Jade's POV

I wake up at 5 a.m. and grab my clothes for a fast shower I'm excited but also very scared. I just want to scream at the top of my lungs to make Tori listen to me but it will just make things worse. It still hurts hearing those words "I hate you" on repeat in my brain. It's my fault I know it is but I just couldn't bring myself to except my feelings the way that I should have. I sit at my desk thinking of what to do nothing comes to mind unfortunately and I just feel even more lost. So I grab a piece of paper and write down my feelings she will never see it so why not right.

Letter to Vega

Dear Tori,

I'm so unbelievably sorry for how I have treated you my heart aches knowing that I made you hate me. Since the day you walked into Hollywood Arts I treated you as though you were a plague to my existence. Truthfully I never hated you quite the opposite I fell in love without realizing it. I seen you kissing my boyfriend but I guess I wasn't upset about you kissing him but rather your lips not being on mine. I don't love Beck never have no matter how hard I tried. You on the other hand waltz right in and shatter my entire world. You plagued my mind with thoughts that I wasn't used to and it scared me more then I'm willing to admit. I would love nothing more to be your friend, your girlfriend, your lover because in my heart you are my soulmate my twin flame. It's eternal neverending. I hope that one day you can possibly forgive me and give me one more chance to prove myself. I love you Tori Vega more then you will ever know.

I'm sorry my love,
Jade
End of letter.

I folded the letter up put it in my pocket planning on putting it in the trash before I left. Which I completely forgot about it either by accident or on purpose who really knows. I just can't function properly it feels like my head is in a fog. I shake my head load up my bags and drive to school. Unfortunately I was the last one there so I had to sit in the back with none other then Tori. Ugh why? I'm so not ready for this. Well maybe I can get here to talk crossing my fingers I pull out a note pad I brought it along so that I could have something to doodle on.

As I write down on the pad my hand starts to shake I know Tori noticed but said nothing. "Vega I'm sorry please let me apologize properly." I put it on the seat in front of her and waited. To my dismay she crumbled it up and looked away out the window I could see the sadness in her reflection. I'm such a bitch how could I hurt someone so sweet and amazing her normal bubbly self has disappeared and it makes me want to cry. So I take another piece and draw hands put together saying please give me a chance. Again she just crumbles the paper not even thinking twice.(Damn this is going to so hard.) I thought to myself.

I kept at for basically the whole way there until I started to dose off I could have sworn I seen a small smile but I just couldn't be sure. When I closed my eyes I felt a little pressure on my pinky but didn't want to move the sparks were just amazing. I smiled and fell asleep for a good 30 minutes and of course had the most intense dream about Tori being wrapped in my arms. Kissing me, whispering in my ear her hot breath on my neck sent shivers down my spine. As her finger traced circles on my waist I couldn't help but pull her into my lap.

Jade's dream

"I love you Jade" she said with so much emotion.
"I love you more baby." I said with just as much emotion.
I looked her in the eyes her beautiful big brown eyes as tears started rolling down her cheeks. I took my thumb and wiped away her tears kissing her softly.
"I want to spend my whole life like this with you. I want a family with you, and to work our way to our dreams. You a pop star and me a writer and actress with you by my side I know my dreams will come true."
End of dream

I feel someone poke me saying to wake up that we were there. It was Cat she gave me a really weird look and asked if I was okay. I guess I was crying but I don't even know why it was a happy dream. Probably because I know I will never be able to make it come true. Tori looks at me with concern in her eyes I give a small smile and say I'm fine. I have a feeling she didn't believe me but wasn't going to ask. On to the camp site we go and hopefully I can get Vega to trust and talk to me.

Tori's POV

I look at the seat in front of me to see the sticky note. She is sorry how am I supposed to believe that my heart dropped because she is probably playing with me again. I have always been a game to her. I ball it up and turn to look out the window only to have another note in front of me. I smile on the inside I don't want her to see it. I ball it up this time I stick it in my pocket without her noticing. She kept doing drawings it was cute but I still didn't know if I could trust her. Ugh why is she so damn adorable without trying.

The notes kept coming and I couldn't help the smile that come to my face. She drew a picture of Cat dressed as a unicorn wearing a cape. With the words "I'm sorry Tori" in big bold letters. I look over and her eyes are closed so I take my pinky and rest it on hers hopefully she doesn't wake up. As soon as I realize she is completely asleep I take her hand in mine and intertwined our fingers. It was like her hand was made for me and me alone. When I look up I see Cat looking at me with a huge smile on her face but doesn't say anything right away. She takes a piece of paper and I just know what she is going to say.

"You love Jade don't you?" She questions.
I just nod my head as confirmation.
"Tell her I bet you will be surprised."
"No not yet, not ready I'm still hurting." I quietly say.
"I will be here if you need to talk." Cat says
"Thanks I will remember that just don't tell anyone else please." I say.
"I won't you can trust me." She says

Before we park I take my hand back and whimper to myself at the loss of contact. I poke Jade once we park trying to wake her up and I notice she is crying. Not knowing what to do I get Cat to help. We both look at her with worry on our faces Cat speaks first asking what is wrong. I try my hardest to hold back but I can't I wrap my arms around Jade and just hug her. All I can hear is a deep contented sigh from her and I laugh a little. Not knowing what else to do I let her go before anyone else can see and we get out.

Jade's POV

Oh my God Tori Vega is hugging me I slowly put my arms around her waist and hug back slightly shaking. I'm so nervous but it's just a hug it means nothing right. I sigh feeling content for the first time in a very long time. Vega let's me go but doesn't look me in the eyes but I still feel her holding my hand reassuring me that it will be ok. We climb out of the van hopefully nobody seen me in my weak state I hate when others see me cry. Which is why I hide in the Janitor's closet at school several times a day. Damn these love feelings why me.

Tori just makes it so easy for someone to fall in love with her but knowing my feelings I will just push her away yet again. I don't want to be like that anymore but I don't know if I can change. Just looking into her brown eyes makes me want to be a better person for her and for myself. I can feel my walls slowly start to crumble away maybe Tori is my one and only. She is the light to my darkness chasing the shadows of my past away with only her smile. I take Tori's hand and help her out and tell her thanks. We both grabbed our bags and joined the others hopefully the site isn't to far away.

"I forgive you Jade." Tori says almost in a whisper.