Poems of a broken artist

If I could

If I could run away, Where would I go?

I've thought on it very often.

I've planned it a million times.

I've almost done it.

But I always come back to the same thought.

If I could end it all, How would I?

I've thought on it everyday.

I've attempted.

I've held the knife to my throat.

But I always come back to the same thought.

If I could watch it all burn, Would I enjoy it?

I've imagined it burning.

I've seen it all happen.

I've held the starter to ignite it.

But I always come back to the same thought.

If I could watch the light leave someone's eyes, How would I do it?

I've found myself imagining it.

I've fought myself to not do it.

I've held someone to where they couldn't breath and didn't want to let them.

But I always come back to the same thought.

If I could play with their minds, How would it feel?

I've held that power.

I've lighted that flame.

I've watched that fire.

I've seen their pain.

I've wanted so badly.

But I could never hurt them that badly.