Poems of a broken artist

love or?

you help me. you calm me. you control my crazy. you save me. 

but..

you hurt me. you change me. you confuse me. 

I listen to your words like a bible, so deep and as true as can be. 

so when you "play"..

I've been conditioned to think the worst and you know it.

but you say things an my mind scatters.

I wish it to stop, voice after voice, thought after thought, idea after idea..

they fly till I cant see anything but blur, my eyes burn as I try not to show pain, I know I'm making something from nothing. 

I know I'm only hurting myself. I know. 

but what can I do?

nothing helps. 

not even distracting. 

not forgetting. 

not ignoring. 

not talking about it. 

not crying. 

not thinking. 

it never works.. 

so is this love or pity? 

                                         you feel for me. 

which?

                                                        pity or love?