Poems of a broken artist

Trust? heh

(This is a story of my old best friend and how they are why I don't trust anymore. I cared and loved them like a sister, but they didn't want to hold on.. This is why I don't trust love anymore and why I only partially trust 2 people in my life. My best friend (IzDeathKnight) and my boyfriend (Zero). )

Know what hurts so damn much?

When I go back, look at the way I talked to you before.

  Before you stopped responding.

    Before you stopped keeping your word.

I can't even look at the word happy without thinking of you.  You were my happy.

   I cared about you.

      I helped you.

         I Trust you.

            I stayed with you even when you were certain I would leave.

I promised I wouldn't leave you and now.. I find myself reading our old conversations and wishing I hadn't lost you.

I find myself looking everyday to see if you come back.

And because of that.. I've lost myself as well.

    I don't make new friends daily.

        I don't help people like I used to.

            I don't trust and I don't gain trust.

                I don't even attempt to hide the truth..

I've lost my will to help.

  My will to lie.

    And my will to cry.

I have nothing.

I lost everything.

But I still love people.

I still love you like a sister, my true help. My only true happy.

I could trust you with anything and everything but.. you were my happy and I lost you..

      Now. I have my lucky charm.

   My love.

My everything all over again..

And though he is not you, I can't shake the feeling that he'll leave me.. Just as you left me.

         Now. I have my new best friend. 

     My new true help. 

 My everything again..

And though he isn't you, I still can't shake the feeling that he'll leave me too.. Just as you left me. 

With a half assed apology,

Wrapped in an explanation on how it's my fault you're going,

Topped with a bow of "it was a fucking mistake talking to you."..

Guess they'll be just another tally. 

though.. I hope they stay.

(this is not a plea for help, it's an explanation on why I don't seek help and why I'm worried to whole-heartedly care about anyone again. 

Have a wonderful day everyone. I truly wish you all the best. 

                                                                             -CN)