A Bloody Crown

Chapter 21: Traitor

Madja walked into the room, tears in her eyes. "It's why I urged you to go," she whispered. "I'm sorry I could never tell you."

"My wings," I choked out, rubbing my back where they should be. "The pills took them."

"I'm so sorry," Marlia cried softly, tears now rolling down her face, pooling on her cheeks.

"Do you think they could help me?"

She nodded, walking towards me. "Feyre has gifts, ones of creation and life. I believe she could."

My voice was soft, brittle, uncertain. Fearful. "I have to leave, don't I?"

Marlia nodded again, biting her lower lip. "You need to be with your people. Your true people, not humans. I don't remember you fitting in much here anyway."

We both halfway laughed, tears staining both our cheeks now.

"I betrayed everything for people I'd never met, Marlia," I whispered, guilt racking me again.

"No, no, my darling," she whispered, taking my face in her hands. "You chose the right side. I do not trust the King, nor the Queens. There is more to them than they let on. And.." she sighed, shaking her head, "They knew what you are. Tamlin does as well. It's why they wanted you, a tool they could manipulate into thinking like Rhysand and Cassian."

My breath faltered, heart seizing on itself. "Why didn't you tell me?"

She sighed deeply, looking down in shame. "I couldn't. I thought to many times but.. until you knew them yourself, chose that life, found your support system, who was I to give you hope of a life you couldn't have? A life of brethren in battle, flying amongst the stars."

A pang of hurt still flashed through me, but I still felt myself trying to understand her.

"For what it's worth, Allyfrun, I begged your mother to not give you those pills. To own up to her mistake, send you to the Night Court, and let you live. But she wouldn't have it, wanting her daughter to grow up royally. So.. she claimed rape."

Looking at my father's wings, I felt something inside me, a voice telling me that wasn't who he was. That he was good, a male who fought for justice.

"How did he get here?" I asked, still staring. "The Wall was still up twenty-three years ago."

She nodded, biting her lip again. "He wasn't.. fully Illyrian. Half of him was high fae as well, fae connected to royalty in the Night Court. A high fae in the Court of Nightmares, though I'm not sure who, found your father's mother in Illyria. I never believed he cared about her, judging from what your mother told me about him, but he did impregnate her." Bobbling her head, she added, "High fae had the ability to cross the wall. I don't know how, but they did. And since your father was half high fae..."

"Would Rhysand know?" I asked, still fearful of the answer.

She shrugged, shaking her head. "I don't know. But whoever they are, they're your grandparents."

Silence took me, not knowing how to respond.

"As much as I'm going to miss you," she said softly, tears pooling in her eyes again, "You need to leave here. You are so much more than this kingdom could offer you. High fae, Illyrian, and human. You need to be with your people."

I hugged her tightly, taking her by shock, but she quickly wrapped her arms back around me, sniffling into my shoulder. "Thank you, Marlia."

"Whenever the war is over, after you've saved the world," she laughed tearily, "Come back to visit, okay?"

I nodded, pulling away. "I will."

"Let's gather your belongings. You have two hours until the Lords arrive, so we need to begin packing everything up. And you need a bath, dear. You smell."