A Bloody Crown

Chapter 31: Kiss

I sat upright in my cot, slowly and groggily. I was in my tent again, dressed in my nightwear. Tenderly, I swung my legs around, standing up, leaving the warm bed behind.

Slipping on a pair of my ivory slippers that Marlia had packed, I stretched my wings and walked outside.

It was night. Deep night, judging by the position of the stars and moon. I stood there for a moment, breathing and admiring, allowing my wings to bask in the image of which they were made.

I drifted around the camp, noticing how thinned out it was. Feyre, Rhys, Mor, all of the high commanders were gone, and all of the Lords. There were two sets of wings at the campfire, though. The two I wanted to see.

One pair looked gravely wounded, and the other's injury was in the front.

Slowly, I walked over, my wings halfway dragging on the ground. Azriel turned his head slightly, recognizing my presence.

As I reached them, they both turned to me with sorrow and compassion in their eyes, but waited for me to speak.

I sat on a log beside theirs, not having the strength to speak after my walk. So we all sat for a few moments, looking into the fire. The crackle and dance of it was enough to entrance you, make you forget the battle raging just seconds away.

Finally, I turned to Azriel, and said very softly, almost inaudibly, "Thank you for saving me."

He looked to me again, but with cold rage this time, "I am sorry we did not arrive sooner."

I shrugged it off, looking back into the flames. "I am glad it gave time to get Elain out."

Cassian spoke, his voice steeled, "It's not a sacrifice you should have had to make, Aelfrun."

"I'm okay," I whispered hoarsely. "I don't remember much anyway, I blacked out during."

"That doesn't change the pain," Azriel murmured.

Shaking my head, I replied, "No, it doesn't. And.. it caused me to be weak when we were trying to escape."

"As it would anybody," Cassian said, his voice and face distorted in pain. "You are not weak."

"I was then. It would be a lie to say I didn't make it harder. Look at your wings, Az."

Azriel looked at me with anguish, raw hurt in his eyes. "I would have paid that price any day."

I grabbed his hand gently, lacing it into mine. "I know."

Cassian smiled softly, looking back into the fire. I released Azriel's hand, watching the shadows take it in my stead.

"Where is everyone?" I asked after a moment of silence.

"Saving what human lives they can," Cassian muttered, running his hand through his hair. "Hybern is going to raze the human lands tomorrow, destroying every family and home in sight. Taking Elain and you back last night was the final step for him. We're moving out at the first sight of dawn."

My throat went dry, fear surging through me. "What are our odds?"

Cass shook his head, not willing to discuss.

Then I remembered, remembered what I told my captains days ago. Gasping, I stood in panic. "I need to instruct my soldiers. After the battle a couple days ago.." I trailed off, sighing.

Azriel pursed his lips, then stood. "I can winnow us-"

"No," I replied, putting my hand up. "There's a reason you weren't asked to winnow tonight. I'm not breaking that."

With a disgruntled look, he sat back down, body going rigid at the denial.

Cassian looked to me and asked, "Do they respect you?"

I nodded, and asked, "Why?"

"Then they'll come. Soldiers who respect their leader find a way. Trust me, they'll be there." Smiling softly, I looked down into the fire, allowing myself to sit. "And in any case, neither of you are in a condition to give orders."

Azriel and I snorted softly, looking at Cassian with a mix of amusement and disdain.

"A lot of people are going to die tomorrow," I whispered, clenching my jaw in thought.

Both Illyrians nodded, not taking their eyes off the fire. "Let's hope it's none of us," Cassian murmured in reply. After a moment, he stood slowly, and limped off to his tent, likely going to force himself to rest before tomorrow.

Azriel and I sat, both of staring at the sparking fire, listening to the popping and crackling.

Swallowing my pride and nerves, I turned to him and said, "If.. if we don't make it out tomorrow," I said, catching his attention. "Thank you. For teaching me, for saving me, for being my friend. I.. I didn't say thank you to the last person who deserved it, and she was ripped away from me. I didn't want that to.." I trailed off, shaking my head.

His shaky, scarred hand found its way to the top of mine. "Thank you for being.. my friend, Aelfrun. I.." he trailed off, shadows skittering and jumping around, likely reflecting his nerves.

I smiled softly, nodding in encouragement.

"I feel understood around you," he forced out, removing his hand, and isolating himself on the log again.

Standing slowly, knowing I'd need more rest before heading back out to heal tomorrow, I stopped next to him. Bending down slowly, I gave him a kiss on his right cheek, and whispered in his ear, "I see you, Az."

Then I drifted away, holding myself around the stomach as I walked back to my tent, mentally steeling myself for war.