Future of the mockingjay

Chapter twenty-five: No More Goodbyes

Gale

Her eyelids flutter open, and her smoldering grey eyes dance around, taking in her surroundings. Katniss struggles against the restraints around her arms and legs. Restraints that I had strongly disagreed to, but the doctors had insisted that they were necessary.

"Ms. Everdeen, it's going to be OK," a doctor says. The other three nod their heads and murmur in agreement.

Katniss shrinks away from their touch, yanking so hard on the restraints that her skin is turning white. She frowns at the doctors in an attempt to hide the obvious fear in her eyes.

I hate seeing her like this.

I grab the doctor who was in charge of the others by the shoulder, spinning him around.

"You're scaring her," I say, stepping right up to him. I tower over him a good six inches, and he's nowhere near as muscular as I am.

"Mr. Hawthorne," he starts, releasing himself from my grip warily, "must I remind you again that you are not to treat the staff with such disrespect?"

"You're scaring her," I repeat, practically growling the words.

"Patients like Ms. Everdeen who have just woken from a coma usually have trouble adjusting to their surroundings. She just needs some time." The snooty doctor looks at me like I'm so below him, as if I don't know anything.

Well, I know everything about Katniss. I bet he doesn't even know her birthday.

"What Katniss needs is for you and your little groupies to leave," I say, looking over at the three doctors still fumbling around, trying to calm Katniss. "I'll talk to her. Trust me," I say, before he can interrupt me, "this is what she needs. I'll let you back in as soon as I can."

The doctor sticks his chin up, trying to look down on me, although really he's just looking straight up my nose. "Very well, Mr. Hawthorne. If that is what you wish, so be it. Just don't come running to me with apologies if something happens to Ms. Everdeen and we weren't here to help!" He storms out of the room, the others following close behind.

As soon as the door closes, Katniss relaxes, slumping back into her pillow.

"What a drama queen that guy is, huh?" I tease, sitting in the chair next to her bed.

She purposely looks away from me, but not before I see the slightest hint of a smile on her lips.

"You know," I say, trying to make conversation, "I told them not to put the restraints on you."

"I'm not a rabid animal," she says, neither disagreeing nor agreeing. Wow, she's really good at this whole grudge-holding thing.

"Well, not all the time," I joke.

She whips her head around, her eyes blazing, as if there were tornadoes in each one. "Oh Gale, you're hilarious," she mocks, each word thrown like a dart.

"Geez Katniss, I'm sorry!" I say, putting my hands up. What is it with girls and their mood swings?

She looks down at her left hand, the needle transferring a steady flow of medicine to her blood. Her eyes crinkle up and she looks away. I can only imagine why she would hate needles so much.

She lifted her hand and showed it to me. "So what's up with this?"

"Well, after you passed out, your body kind of went into shut down mode. You just... stopped working."

"Stopped working?" she asks, her eyebrows pressing together in confusion.

I shrug, looking at the beeping monitors above her bed. "I guess your body just got... overwhelmed."

She closes her eyes, reality seeping back into her brain. "Why did you have to fix me?"

My eyebrows shoot up, and I stare at her in disbelief. "What?"

She opens her eyes, staring straight at me. "Why did you have to let me live? Peeta's gone, Gale! He's just..." A shiny tear forms in the corner of her eye, but she blinks hard, pushing it away. She whips her head away from me, hiding her face.

It was like I was just slapped in the face with rejection and envy. I've never seen Katniss so weak and vulnerable. The fact that she is so lost and helpless without Peeta made me sick... and hurt.

I bet Katniss wouldn't even care that much if I disappeared, I think bitterly. A wave of shame overcomes me when I realize that I had already left her once. I wasn't going to do it again.

"You should know better than to act this way, Katniss," I say firmly.

"What are you talking about, Gale?" she asks, her voice weak. She doesn't turn to face me. "You know how much I care about Peeta."

I clench my fist, my cheeks burning up. "Yeah? Well how much do you care about your own children? Do you even remember them?"

I regret the words as soon as I say them, but I know it's just what she needs to hear. I take a deep breath, gripping the sides of my chair tightly.

"Of course I remember them," she says softly, and I can hear the guilt in her voice.

I sigh. "Katniss, you need to understand that there are people who depend on you. Peeta left, but only because he was trying to protect you and your kids. You're taking this way too hard on yourself! You didn't do anything wrong, Katniss. Peeta never stopped loving you. I'm sure he is as hurt by his decision as you are." Defending Peeta definitely isn't on my list fun things to do, but I was just so tired of seeing Katniss beat herself up over him.

"You can't stop living, Katniss," I say, grabbing her hand. "Your children need you. And just because Peeta isn't here doesn't mean that there are people who don't love you." I let the words sink in, hoping she understands what I am really saying.

She pulls her hand away gently.

"Why are you here, Gale?" she asks, locking my gaze with hers.

"You know why," I mumble.

"No, I mean, why are you here; as in, my hospital room. Why did you stay?"

"Why wouldn't I, Katniss?" I ask her, offended by the question.

"Oh, I don't know. You just have a tendency of leaving people when they need you the most," she says. She might as well have punched me right in the face, and I know she would if she had the chance.

"How many times do I have to tell you I'm sorry?" I ask, frustrated.

"Until you finally convince me."

"And how long will that take?"

She turns away, pulling the blankets tighter. "You might as well just save your breath."

I sigh, leaning back into my chair. "So that's it?"

The beeping monitors seem even louder as Katniss' silence fills the room. I groan, slowly getting off of my chair.

As I was about to step out the door, I heard her take in a quick breath and I turned around to find her staring right at me.

"Bye," she whispers. The note of finality in her voice echoes around the room.

I smile at her, trying to remember how we were before the Capitol destroyed us. Trying to remember my best friend.

"We're not saying goodbyes yet, Catnip," I say, winking at her. "You're not getting rid of me that easily."

She sighs, defeated, and rests her head on her pillows, closing her eyes. I softly shut the door behind me as I walk out. The doctors are talking in a small circle in the hallway. They look up at me as I turn to leave.

I start walking. "She's ready for you," I say, not even looking back.