"It" Can't Be Helped (Revised) | ✔️ | Blue Exorcist

23

Yukio was droning on about cram school as we ate our dinner. Something about changes to class structure next year and how none of the teachers were happy about it. I hummed along accordingly as I toyed with my spoon. I was thankful I'd chosen soup as our main dish, it was a lot easier to throw up when there was more liquid than solid. Noodles weren't fun, though, as I recalled the last time I'd thrown them up. I'd somehow lodged a noodle in my sinus and the burning sensation afterward made my nose itch even now. My mouth twitched downward as I recalled the disgust I'd felt when I had to literally blow the pasta out of my nose.

"Nii-san, are you even listening to me?" I jolted and flashed my eyes up to meet my twins. He gave me a curious look and I felt my cheeks tingle with shame. He'd been in the middle of eating some sushi but my reaction made him pause. He sighed and put down his chopsticks. "What's on your mind?" I shrugged in indifference, but inwardly I frantically tried to find a reasoning for my behavior. Yukio clicked his tongue a few times before reaching out and tapping the table to get my full attention. "Hey, stop brushing me off like this. I'm here to help, remember? What's wrong?"

I chewed my lip, flickering through my mind for anything that I could use to placate him. There was no way in hell I could let him in on the fact that I'd been vomiting as much as I have. With a sigh, I resigned myself to a simple question. "That mission," I started, holding a bit of apprehension in my tone. "Where I, you know... and everyone-"

"Yeah, I know, what about it?" Yukio asked warmly and I felt a bit guilty playing with him like this, but I had no other choice.

"You said the demons were harmless."

He sighed and leaned back in his seat. "Yeah, mostly harmless. Due to their subtype, they don't have much for physical capabilities, but if provoked enough, they can turn violent." He closed his eyes briefly before leveling with me once again. "I'm sorry. I didn't factor in that side of things because the reality of it happening was slim due to the group we had. But that's where I failed as you're superior. You got hurt because of my ineptitude."

The guilt that had been gnawing at me became fully fledged and I started to backtrack. "No, no. It's not that! I don't blame you for anything. Hell, even Shura wasn't prepared for what happened." My fingers began fidgeting with my shirt hem and I tried to find an excuse to cover my ass. "What I was trying to get at... you said they were harmless. That they would speak our insecurities and stuff..."

The room was silent as I trailed off and I drew in a breath before looking at my only sibling. He had a perplexed expression, his eyebrows furrowed as he stared me down. "Yes... they use psychological tactics to weaken their targets..."

I grunted and pushed myself up straighter, "but they just speak shit to you, right?"

"...correct."

He blinked several times as he tried to uncover exactly what I was conveying. However, I knew I wasn't giving him much to go off of. I'd dug my own grave, though, and I needed to relive the memory due to my mistake. "Back then, when they dug their claws into me. It hurt, a lot." I scoffed, realizing that the physical pain had been nowhere near the turmoil I'd experienced mentally that night. "But when they made contact with me, I could... see things, too."

"What?" He quipped abruptly, his palms laying flat on the table as he leaned forward. "That's not possible, that shouldn't be possible." He mused over my words and pursed his lips. "They're lower level, so while they have the ability to sense weaknesses, they don't have the power to portray them visually, especially inside someone's head. That'd be evidence of something much stronger than their current classification." The gears continued to turn behind his eyes, and I saw a flicker of the brother I knew so well. He was always aching for new information, new discoveries. With my statement, I was possibly changing something that'd been considered solid facts for the last how long. After a few seconds his eyes met mine once more, a glimmer inside his irises. "What did you see, what kind of vision was it? Was it clear like a memory or more like hazy experience?"