Star Wars Fanfic - The Clone Jedi

(V) Rage

"I never considered myself very jolly, so to speak. I was so afraid of what I was hiding that I preferred to stay away from the other clones. Even CT-1754, who was nicknamed Prig, and for a good reason.

He was a clone with an overwhelming need to... speak. He could be telling you things for hours and never get tired. And as if it were a punishment imposed by the Force, he became very attached to me. I, on the other hand, who could barely stand him for a few minutes, was always in a bad mood. And it was he who called me Rage for the first time. Name that would accompany me for the rest of my days.

While we were on the ship, I remember that most of the clones used their free time to exercise, or play a game in the shelters, or take a walk on the lower platforms. I, on the other hand, absolutely needed to be close to the saber.

I remember that I took advantage of every moment that I had left alone to take it out of the drawer where I had it, and look at it secretly while nobody saw me. When I held the lightsaber, my mind would go blank and I could spend minutes looking at it without getting bored. It was a kind of obsession that I couldn't control.

When I felt someone approaching, I tried to hide it as fast as I could. I was making so much noise that it seemed like I was slamming my locker door in a rage. Which affirmed my nickname with the rest of the troop.

And as if that weren't enough, I could hear the same voice telling me: "That doesn't belong to you." over and over in my head. Many times I was alone, and I would get excited looking everywhere to see if there was someone playing me a joke. But I could never find the culprit.

I lost count of how many days had passed since we left Geonosis behind. Being locked up in that huge metal can for so long made me feel sick. And every time I heard that voice I thought I was falling into madness.

Finally our sergeant arrived telling us that we should prepare. We were going to land on the planet Christophsis which was under siege by the separatists. I remember putting on my armor as fast as I could, but when I opened my locker I remembered the lightsaber. I couldn't leave it there. No one could find out. The first thing that occurred to me was to put it inside my helmet and lock myself inside one of the bathrooms.

The nerves were killing me. I was looking everywhere, trying to figure out where I could keep the saber without it being visible and triggering by mistake. After a few minutes the sergeant knocked on the door to find out what was wrong with me. I reflexively lied to him that I had indigestion, and he told me to hurry up anyway.

I finally got an idea. I hid the lightsaber in the compartment where we kept the food rations. A small cylinder that we had hanging from the armor over the sacral region. Fortunately it was big enough for the saber to fit without any problem.

With my "problem" resolved, I was able to return to the rest. Some made fun of me when they saw the beads of sweat on my face, saying that I had difficulties with the toilet. But if they knew the truth that smile would be erased from their face.

Finally, we assemble in the main hangars and board the shuttles once more. Although this time we already knew what we would face. The gates opened and we could see the beautiful panorama of Christophsis and its peculiar blue-green color. And so, thousands of transports swarmed from the cruisers to land on the planet."