Silent Laughter (Louis Tomlinson Fan-Fic) Book 3

Part thirty-four

"So you told him? About everything?"

My hands hold one another on my lap right on top of the device and I just shrug before nodding a little, her eyebrows raising before she adjusts herself more comfortably in her seat.

I brought my Ipad along with me today, not really in the mood to sign.

She nods and writes some notes in her clipboard again before rolling the chair closer to me, her eyes not leaving mine.

"What brought you to do that?"

I was kind of expecting some sort of anger to come from her. I mean here she has been trying to get me to admit my feelings towards that for the longest time which I have been trying my best to ignore and then here I am, having confessed everything to a boy I've only known for less than a year. Then again, maybe she is a bit pissed off but just has a good way of hiding it. I wouldn't really be surprised; she seems to mask her opinion on things constantly.

I shrug again, laughing a nervous laugh before I unclasp my hands, turning on the device and beginning to type.

"I guess, Gene hiding things from everyone just made me think about how I was hiding things from, Louis and I didn't want to do that to him, especially since he might want to be in a relationship with me." It reads for me, my stomach constricting a bit as the last words play out.

It's kind of suspected that, Louis might actually want me to be his girlfriend. It kind of hit me during the whole confession thing when he mentioned how he wants to go on dates with me after this one. Meaning that he doesn't want our relationship to just be a friendship and I agree, even though I don't think I'm ready yet, but still. Along the way I would hope that we will be a couple. I have never actually thought this ahead about someone before but that also reassures my decision as well as makes me feel this tad bit of nervousness and a deep lingering feeling of excitement.

I'm fucked.

Kanwell looks as surprised by my words as I do when I glance back at her. She doesn't write anything down, but instead curls her lips inward. She obviously has something to say but won't spit it out.

"What are you thinking?" I type, my eyebrows furrowing together as I attempt to read her. She has doubts. She's holding back because what she wants to say is too personal for a therapist to say to a patient.

She looks down at her board again, her writing hand sort of dropping down to it.

"Nothing it's just-"

She gives me her attention.

"Have you told your mum about this?"

I stifle an annoyed groan that's stuck inside my throat. She wants to see what my mum thinks of this, but she also wants to say something else. Though, I know I'm not going to find out what it is.

"Sort of."

She gives me one of those go on robotic therapist stares and I take a deep breath before typing, everything feeling kind of tedious, this whole conversation seeming to be pointless.

"I have a date with, Louis in a week and so I wanted to buy a dress for it since I don't have any really and yeah, I asked her if she wanted to come and yeah. She helped me get a dress."

"So she knows about, Louis?"

I shake my head.

"She knows that I have a date with a boy. But she doesn't know who the boy is."