Silent Laughter (Louis Tomlinson Fan-Fic) Book 3

Part forty [Part 2]

A/N: THIS IS A CONTINUATION FROM THE CHAPTER BEFORE KINDA. SO Y'ALL NEED THE READ THE CHAP BEFORE IF YOU HAVEN'T TO UNDERSTAND THIS ONE. ENJOY.

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Louis reminds me of those leading male protagonists in those romance novels. The novels where something tragic happens between the loving couple, a threat that might tear them a part. Like Romeo and Juliet except without all the dying. When we discussed the whole Mark and fake dating Eleanor thing, he grew even more mischievous than he was before. Mark could be in the same room as the two of us, enjoying lunch or just chatting us up along with the boys at the studio and Louis would take me into the hall or into the bathroom secretly and kiss me hard, knowing that we could get caught any minute. He held no restraint, his lips whispering my name in my ear right after, my name alone holding so much meaning once it was spoken from his lips.

I wasn't and am still not sure whether Mark had caught on, if he noticed the slight unruliness of my hair or if he knew that Louis had just tangled his fingers with the strands as he walked me against a wall only a few minutes before. My cheeks were always flushed, I knew. I felt the warmth, I felt my stomach turning and my chest hurting in a pleasant way that reminded me that I was not dreaming.

Louis on the other hand would return back to the room completely nonchalant, with his thin lips formed into a smirk, his hands in his pockets and his feet practically fucking jumping as he would stroll himself in. I began to think that he did things like that to throw it in Mark's face, kissing me like that. But then when we both returned to his hotel room one afternoon, he immediately started to kiss me.

I pushed him back slightly and he gave me a confused look.

"Oh sorry, was that too forward?"

His cheeks were pink from embarrassment and I felt this pinching feeling within me.

'What, is Mark coming or something?'

The hotel room was filled with the loud screams that were roaring from the fans outside, my mind not seeming to breathe. Everything was just crazy at that moment with them and with my conflicting thoughts. I mean it shouldn't have been a big deal anyway, but it was. I wanted Louis to kiss me because he wanted to, not because he had something to prove. I didn't want to be Louis' revenge plan, I just wanted to be there for him. I just wanted him to love me and for me to just love him back with nothing in the middle, all the fire trying to burn us disappearing as if it were on the tip of a cigarette and as if the spark died once he placed it all in an ash tray. If only it were that easy though, to just kill all the bad with a single tap on a silver tray that smells like tobacco and lost dreams.

His eyebrows were scrunched together and his voice softened immediately, his attention going from my lips to my eyes, blue meeting blue and confusion meeting frustration. He stepped closer to me in a dramatic manner, turning completely serious.

"Did you just ask if Mark is coming?"

I nodded slowly, my bottom lip rolling under my top row of teeth and even though I tried to keep eye contact with him so he would know that I meant business, I couldn't. He looked hurt, as if I had slapped him or something and it made me feel guilty.

'That is why you are kissing me right?'

"Winnie? Why- I don't understand what you are getting at. What does me kissing you have to do with Mark?"

He looked genuinely lost as if I was speaking to him in another language and all this regret was beginning to weigh on me. I began to think about Kanwell's words, about how difficult it would be for me and Louis to date. Maybe I was letting that get to me, maybe I was trying to pick the simplest thing to use as an excuse to break up with him, to be alone again. And at those thoughts my head was shaking, my feet stepping back. I knew that I didn't want to lose Louis, that I couldn't and everything in my head just felt all consuming in the most horrible way. I felt fucking crazy, words going back and forth. I mean one day I was perfectly confident about our relationship and then the next I was freaking out, blaming everything on myself, trying to make myself see how if I spoke another word, everything would go down the shit hole.