Troubled Indeed

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

I dropped mom and Benji off at her place and noticed that Alexi's car wasn't there. Mom didn't know where he was, but she didn't make a big deal about it, saying he's a grown man and he can do whatever he wants. But here's where our opinions differ. In my mind a person should always let his or her partner know where they are, that's being respectful. But I also realize I haven't been completely open with Anthony as well, setting double standards for our relationship. Gosh, I'm a complete mess sometimes.

I wake up in the middle of the night. I thought I heard knocking at my door, but when I sit up and listen closely, I hear nothing. It must have been a dream. I check the time. It's 2.30 a.m. Anthony is not here. I take my phone and type a quick message, asking him "Where are you?", but before I hit send, my mom's voice is replaying in my head, saying "He's a grown man and he can do whatever he wants".

I hate the fact that she's right, even though she was talking about Alexi. Anthony is a grown man, and I can't be the jealous girlfriend who's almost stalking her own man. Besides, we kind of got in a little bit of a fight over trust issues before when I admitted I called Tonya, and I don't want to add fuel to the fire.

I slam my phone back on the nightstand and pull my blanket over my head with a grunt, trying to fall asleep again.

But there it is again – someone is knocking at my door, and this time I can hear the door handle move. Someone's trying to get in. Is it Anthony? Maybe he forgot his keys?

I get out of bed and quietly move towards the front door without turning the lights on. I try to listen, but on the other side, it's silence. Footsteps are moving further away, down the stairs, and out of the building.

I tiptoe into the kitchen, where I can see the parking lot in front of the building, nothing extraordinary catches my eye. Except, there's a male figure distancing from the building and getting inside a car parked on the other street. If it was Anthony, he would have parked in front of the building. But this was someone else, and I have a strong feeling I know who it was. A man on a mission. My gut feeling was right leaving Benji at my mother's tonight. But I'm not safe here on my own either.

Reluctantly, I find my phone and call Anthony.

"Heeeey, babe, I was kind of expecting your call," he answers in an overly friendly tone after letting it ring for a while.

"Hey, I was wondering if you were coming home tonight?" I ask sweetly, not wanting to seem annoying, or terrified for that matter.

"Probbly not...," he slurs his words.

He's definitely drunk and now I can't tell him that there was someone at my door in the middle of the night. It would be reckless of me to tell a drunk person to come and help me, I wouldn't want to put him in any danger. But I also don't want to stay at home all by myself.

While I'm trying to figure out what to do next and avoid asking him where he is, I get my answer. There's some shuffling on the other end of that call and a moment later Anthony is talking to me again, but this time the music in the background is louder than before and I know without asking where he's at by the bow-chick-a-wow-wow beats.

"So, babe, did ya need anything, or was this just a check-up call?" he teases me.

I'm in no state to play games right now and fear is what keeps me moving.

"I got to go, you do you," I say and hang up.

I'm frustrated that he's not here to help and protect me when I need him. And that's something he promised to do whenever needed. Hearing that he's in his goddamn strip club rubs me the wrong way and makes me angrier by the minute.

I'm afraid to turn on the lights so I search for my clothes in complete darkness. I can see my phone screen illuminate and I know it's Anthony calling me back. I ignore his call. I know if I pick up, we'll be getting into another fight. And that's something I don't need right now.

I grab my purse and my car key, and before I leave my apartment, I peek through the peephole to make sure there's nobody ambushing me on the other side. I double-check my surroundings before leaving the building and running towards my car. I get inside and lock the doors. Everything seems quiet and I think nobody is watching me, but I'm still paranoid.

I drive around aimlessly, trying to lose a tail that's not there. I drive by Lesh, but it's dark there. I want to drive to my mother's, but I can't. If Simon is in fact following me, I wouldn't want to lead him straight to my son. Somehow driving around is making me feel safer than sitting at home. At least when I'm in my car I can drive away from danger.

All of a sudden, I find myself driving into the Dirty Angels parking lot, and just as I suspected, Anthony's Mustang is there, among many other cars. I guess business is booming. This is the last place I would want to go but being close to Anthony is the only place I feel safe.

I check my phone again and it shows three missed calls and a text, saying "What the fuck?". Oh boy. He's mad at me.

I sit in my car for fifteen minutes, hoping for a miracle to happen and for Anthony to leave the club. That way I wouldn't have to go inside. But he's not coming, so I take a deep breath and leave my car.

As I enter the club, I get a few glances from random guys, but as I keep pushing past them, they keep talking and gawking at naked girls on the stage. The air is thick with the smell of alcohol and cigars. The dim lights are red and purple, the whole scenery is screaming sex. The place has a whole other vibe during open hours and I'm not sure I like it. Is that really the place where Anthony spends the majority of his time?

I try to reach the bar, the only safe enough place I know here, and luckily, Tonya is working tonight. She notices me immediately.

"Oh, hey you, glad to see you stopping by. What can I get you?" she asks quickly, all business.

"I'll take a coke," I reply, but I'm not taking any chances here, so I add, "Have you seen Anthony?"

She gives me a weird look, then shakes her head in disbelief and points a glass towards the other end of the counter. She hands me my coke and moves on to the next customer.

I realize what she must think of me. That I'm a needy-stalky girlfriend who won't let her man have his fun, but I don't care. This is an emergency. I think we won't be friends with her after all.

I look in the direction Tonya pointed at and notice a bunch of guys sitting by the bar, having a laugh. Two of them I know – next to Anthony is sitting my future stepdad Alexi. Everyone keeps talking, drinking, and patting Alexi on his back. It takes me a moment to realize that it's his bachelor party. I don't quite understand why this had to be such a secret that even my mom didn't know anything about it, but it makes me feel a little bit at ease that there are no naked girls grinding up and down my man. Anthony is not cheating on me, and this is a relief.

I look at the guys for a few minutes and decide it's best not to interrupt their party, and let the guys have their fun. Seems like they're not doing anything inappropriate, just some bromance going on.

I finish my coke and get up to leave. I think I'll drive around for a couple of hours until dawn and then head back home when it's not dark outside anymore. I take a last look at the group on the other end of the counter and a chill runs through me. Anthony is looking me straight in the eyes, and I can tell by his facial expression, even from a distance that he's not happy to see me here.