Troubled Indeed

CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

I wept basically through the night. I tried calling Anthony several times, but he never answered or called me back. I decided it was best if I just let him be. I still can't believe I let Simon get inside my head. I should have never agreed to meet him in the first place. But what's done is done, and now I need to move forward with this situation.

"Good morning, mommy," Benji hops inside my bedroom, then suddenly stops, "Whoa." His reaction to my bloated face with red rims around my eyes is priceless.

"Where's Anthony?" he asks me a moment later, not commenting on my appearance.

"He had some work stuff to do," I lie. How do you tell a three-year-old that mommy just had the biggest fight and the only male role model in his life might or might not come back because mommy screwed things up?

"But Granny's getting married today," Benji states the beautiful fact.

"I know. I think he'll be able to make it there. Go watch some cartoons and I'll be right with you."

"Okay," Benji shrugs and skips out of my bedroom.

Oh, it's so much easier to talk to a kid. Adults are a whole different kind. I try calling Anthony again, but this time it goes straight to his voicemail. I hate myself for hurting my man. I can only hope that he shows up today so we can talk and patch things up. I can't see my mom getting married and lose the love of my life on the same day. This cannot be my reality.

I pull up to mom's house with Benji in the back seat. The plan was to leave Benji with Anthony while mom and I get our glam done in her house, but now that plan is canceled. I take my boy and go inside the house.

"Sweetie is that you?" mom hollers from the kitchen.

"Yeah, and Benji is with me," I shout back at her, letting her know that I'm not alone.

She doesn't respond but a moment later I hear shuffling coming my way. Mom was in the process of having her makeup done but she had to see for herself that I wasn't lying about having my kid with me.

"What happened to you?" she asks me, her eyes wide the moment she sees my appearance.

"We had a little argument last night," I reply and put my index finger on my lips to show her I don't want to talk about this in front of Benji.

I guide my boy towards the living room, and I'm greeted by Alexi's friendly face. I can feel my mom breathing heavily behind me. I guess she's annoyed that there's a slight hiccup on her beautiful day.

"Hey, good to see you again!" he says cheerfully and takes Benji in his lap.

"You too! Why are you still here, though? Shouldn't you be getting ready at the venue?" I ask him, "It's your wedding too, you know."

Mom and Alexi agreed that girls could get their hair and makeup done at her house and get dressed at the venue, while guys would meet us there.

"I still have two hours until I have to start getting ready," he smiles at me.

"Good, then you play with Benji while we talk and get ready in the kitchen," mom states in a non-arguable tone and pulls me after her by my sleeve.

"Bridezilla," I whisper in Alexi's direction and roll my eyes, he laughs out loud.

"What do you mean you had an argument? Is he coming today? Please don't tell me you guys broke up! Oh my God, of course you broke up, you look like a trainwreck," mom shoots like a machine gun.

"Mom, stop!" I cut her off.

"What happened? Tell me!" she demands.

But before I get to open my mouth a young woman approaches me with her makeup utensils, tilts my head slightly back, and gets to work.

"I met Simon yesterday," I say when the woman is done with foundation.

"What do you mean met? Like bumped into him and ran in the other direction?"

"No, on purpose. And I told Anthony about it."

"Why...why...why would you meet him in the first place? He kidnapped your child!" she states the obvious.

The two makeup ladies gasp and stop what they were doing for a moment. They look at each other with wide eyes but regroup quickly and continue.

"He told me if I did, he would leave me and Benji alone," I reply. I'm getting tired of repeating the same conversation with different people.

"And you believed him? He's a psycho!" mom raises her voice slightly.

It's hard for me to say anything in response. In retrospect, I can see that it was a dumb idea to meet with him. I'm almost sure I'll see him again and he won't leave me and Benji to live in peace.

"Please, try not to cry right now," the makeup lady says, "We're not done yet."

"Oh dear God," mom mutters under her breath.

I try my hardest to hold back tears, and the woman in front of me gently dabs the corners of my eyes with a napkin. She smiles at me and motions for me to breathe, moving her arm up and down in front of her chest.

"I can't believe this is happening on my wedding day. Here I was, worried that my wedding day would go perfectly with every last detail in place, and here you are, bringing in another drama so I wouldn't have any time to think about my own troubles," mom mutters from the other side of the kitchen table.

"Yeah, I'm very troubled indeed," I sigh and close my eyes so that I can get my eye makeup done.

***  

An hour and a half later both our makeup and hair are done. Alexi leaves us to get ready with his guys at the venue. I wonder if Anthony will show up to support him. Every time the doorbell rings my heart skips a beat, hoping that Anthony is here to talk to me. But to my disappointment, those were just mom's friends gathering to help her get dressed.

I helped Benji get ready, and he looks like a little prince wearing his small tuxedo. He will be the one giving his grandmother away to Alexi. Alexi doesn't know this yet, but mom asked me a few weeks ago if I was OK with it. I thought it was a great idea.

Now it was time for me to get dressed. I bought my bridesmaid dress around the time mom asked me to be her maid of honor. It's a cream-colored long-sleeve maxi dress with a free-flow skirt and a slit as high as appropriate. But what I love the most about that dress is the way it accentuates my boobs in a very flattering way, but not revealing too much. Anthony has never seen the dress. I was hoping he would like it, but now I don't even know if he'll see it.

"Are we ready to go?" one of my mom's friends, Betty, shouts from the front door, "Because our limo is here."

Ladies start shuffling around, gathering their stuff. Every woman is beautifully dressed. We all got to choose our dresses, but the color had to be cream because by the time mom asked them to be bridesmaids, my dress was already bought. So, we're dressed in accordance with our age, and of course, since I'm the youngest one, I look the most revealing.

"Wow, sometimes I wish I was younger so I would look as sexy as you in that dress," Betty comments on my appearance when I get down the stairs with Benji beside me. "And look at that handsome date you have!"

Ouch... But I can't deny the truth. Benji could actually be my date for the night because I have no idea where Anthony is or will he show up at the wedding. And even if he does, will he be ready to talk to me?

All of us, including the beautiful bride and my cute date, get inside the tastefully decorated limo and take off towards the venue. So far, no more drama, and for mom's sake, I hope it stays that way.