Troubled Indeed

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

I really needed that ride. I agree with Anthony, riding a motorcycle is a form of therapy. And me basically leaning into him and holding on made me feel secure. I'm safe with him, even on a motorcycle chasing maximum speed.

We parked the bike back in its garage and quickly changed into more comfortable clothes. Even though biker gear is sexy as hell, it's summer outside and I wouldn't want to run my mom's wedding errands in a leather outfit.

We pulled up to my mother's house but before we got out, I noticed Anthony was somehow wary.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing, just a weird gut feeling," he replies, but I can see he's worried.

"Why?" Now I'm worried as well.

"I think Simon was outside the club when we took the bike out. There were our cars and one more. And when we got back, the third car was gone."

"Jesus, not this again." I start looking around frantically, hoping he hasn't followed us to my mom's home.

"Don't worry, we weren't followed," he says.

"This thing with Simon is creeping me out, I don't think I'll ever feel relaxed when he's out there," I share.

"Yeah, babe, I know," he replies.

We get out of the car and into the house. We're welcomed by a very tiny yet meaningful embrace from my son.

"Hey, little dude," Anthony greets my boy.

"Hello. I missed you, mommy," he says in the cutest voice.

"I know, I missed you too, honey," I say as I stroke his soft hair, "How's granny doing?" I whisper.

"She drinks a lot of coffee," Benji shares his observation.

Both me and Anthony laugh out loud and as if on cue, mom rushes in with a cup of coffee in her hand.

"I thought I heard voices," she says in an anxious tone.

"Maybe you should lay off the caffeine," I say jokingly.

My mom squints at me, then shakes her head no.

"Too much to do, too little time," she chatters in response, "Now quickly, what's our plan for today?"

"I think I have to postpone the wedding stuff and take you to a SPA instead," I giggle, but get no response. I guess wedding mode is on and there's still a lot to do to get ready for tomorrow.

All of us go into the kitchen and sit down around the kitchen island. Without saying a word, mom pushes her big white wedding binder in front of me.

"Why do you guys look like you didn't have any sleep last night?" mom asks without looking at us while preparing more coffee. I hope the new batch is for us.

"Because we didn't," I reply and smile at Anthony.

A mischievous grin of his says more than a thousand words.

"I see," mom says in a stern teacher voice.

"You kids better behave tonight and tomorrow, I don't want anything to ruin my day," she warns us as she places hot coffee in front of us.

"Yes Ma'am," Anthony replies.

I snort. This whole situation is like a comedy club rehearsal. My laughter is not appreciated, though. I end up coughing to mask my humor.

"Have you hired a nanny for Benji yet?" she asks me in a serious tone.

"What? No, he's coming with us wherever we go," I reply.

My mom looks at me for the longest time. She doesn't say anything at first, but I can tell she's not pleased with this. Then, finally, it looks like she made up her mind.

"Honey, you know I love all of you, but dragging a toddler around isn't exactly my vision of running errands. He needs to be in a safe and comfortable environment, he needs to play and have fun, not sit in a car and drive through ten different places."

"You see, that right there – what you said. He needs to be in a safe environment. And where is that?" I ask her sarcastically.

Mom doesn't say anything, she just stares at me, then at Anthony, trying to find someone like-minded.

"That's right, at home or with me!"

Mom looks at Anthony, hoping he'll weigh in about this, but he just shrugs and takes a sip of his coffee. I guess in his mind this is between a mother and a daughter.

"You can't possibly think that it's a good idea to take him with us. It could take us the whole afternoon, and the best part of the evening as well. He needs to eat, pee and sleep. Come on," mom sounds desperate.

"I don't trust anyone with him, and you should be more understanding about this, knowing about the kidnapping, I can't believe you right now!"

"I can't believe you!" she hisses in response.

"Alright, time to cool down," Anthony finally pipes up.

"Gloria, could you take Benji to the other room while I talk to Victoria?" he says with authority, not taking "no" for an answer.

"Fine," she says rolling her eyes at me, then taking Benji in her lap and leaving.

Anthony turns to me but doesn't say anything. He just looks at me.

"What?" I snap.

"First of all, calm down," he says coolly.

I close my eyes and try to even my breath. My heart rate is calming down.

"I can't believe my own mother expects me to leave my son with some stranger. She knows what we've been through," I break the silence.

"Sure. But it's her wedding, and she wants it to be perfect. I think she's afraid you won't be focused a hundred percent on her when Benji is with you."

"Oh," I mutter, "I didn't think of it like that."

"And you don't have to leave him with a random nanny," he says in a softer tone.

"What do you mean?" I ask him.

"I mean I don't have anything to do for the rest of the day. I can take care of him," Anthony announces, taking me by surprise.

He has never volunteered to babysit. He's always busy doing something. I know he would be great with Benji but what if something happens? What if he gets another call from his club? Then what? No, I can't possibly let him watch Benji, at least not on his own.

"I can't let you do that," I say slowly and quietly, trying hard not to hurt his feelings.

"Why not? Don't you trust me?"

I bite my lip. What do I say now? He's pushing my sore spot, and I no longer know what to say.

He looks at me with an expectant expression, his face getting more wistful with every passing second. I need to say something.

"Of course I trust you, it's just that you've never been alone with him for longer than an hour. And I don't know how long it will take with the wedding stuff."

"I don't care. I've been alone with him before, we'll be fine. Two dudes hanging out. I'll put him to bed by nine, with brushed teeth and all if you won't be back by then. I want to show you that you can trust me," he pleads.

But I think he really wants to know if I trust him enough to leave my kid with him.

Instead of saying anything, I just nod. I have to do this in order for my relationship with Anthony to move forward. I need to show him that I do trust him and leaving my son with him is me showing the greatest trust in him.

Anthony stands up and kisses me.

"Thank you," is all he says.

Now all I have to do is explain to my son that he'll have to do one more day without me. I feel like shit that I've neglected him for some days now, but as soon as the wedding is over, we'll have more time to ourselves.