Trust yourself

Chapter 10

  The day after the therapist's session with Li Chi, the therapist himself started to feel nervous and anxious, so he called his professor on the phone and asked to meet him urgently.

The therapist went to his professor, asking for his advice. He began his speech by saying,

"My professor, one of my patients, has had such an impact on me that I worry I might develop an anxiety disorder, and I cannot refuse to pursue this case."

The professor asked,

"Why can't you refuse the case?"

"Because he forces me to follow his case," the therapist replied.

"Forces you?" The professor wondered.

"Yes, because he confessed to me that he works as a paid killer, and if I refuse to follow his case, he will kill me because now I know his secret and his identity." The therapist replied.

The professor nodded and said,

"I see!" "You are afraid of him, aren't you?"

"It's horrible; it's terrifying." Try to imagine a tough, violent patient who kills for money and has a problem with anger management. "I can't deal with him." "I am no match for him." "I felt a panic attack yesterday, and I think he's the reason behind that." The therapist answered.

The professor commented,

"Although the ethics of the profession require you to be secretive and not disclose patients' secrets, your safety is a priority." "Is he a psychopath or a sociopath?"

"No, neither of them." "He pays attention to the safety and rights of others, and sometimes he chooses the interests of others over his own." the therapist answered.

The professor wondered, "How is that possible when he kills for money?"

"He is a somewhat moral person." He sees killing or violence as the most effective means of protecting oneself. The therapist answered.

"But to kill a human being because someone paid you money is not self-protection." The professor replied.

"I agree with you, my professor, but I do not know his justifications for that." "We only met for three sessions, and from what he told me, the first time he killed, he did it to protect his girlfriend, but I don't know how it developed into a professional killing."

The professor commented,

"Perhaps he became obsessed, addicted to the euphoria of murder; he loved the act; or he may have damaged mirror neurons and adapted to the act; it became a routine."

The therapist replied.

"I don't think so." The truth is, I don't know his exact personality, but he justified the first incident by saying that he must secure himself and his girlfriend from the threat by ending the threat once and for all. He thinks that makes perfect sense and was relieved that he wasn't punished for it.

The professor commented,

"I see that you want to follow up on his case; you are eager to analyse him despite your fear of him, and I see that you have no desire to bring him to justice."

The therapist replied,

Actually, professor, I think he suffers from PTSD [post traumatic stress disorder] and that there was something in his life that pushed him to go in that direction and to think that way, and I think that he has a conscience, and in his subconscious he is trying to change himself or he wishes to change. I feel that I have a responsibility towards him and that I can help him to change, but at the same time, I feel anxious and afraid of him, and I cannot empathise with him and use supportive psychotherapy or even psychodynamic therapy. "I'm afraid of what he might be when we delve deeper into his feelings and thoughts,"