event horizon

February 26th, 2023

Some more updates about my supernatural journey.

I found something that pretty much instantly triggered a draconic mental and phantom shift! The World of Warcraft Dragonflight cinematic trailer. Just... Watching the dragons fly around is mesmerizing. I feel a connection deep within me, and my back aches where my phantom wings connect.
Although, the fact that I've been watching the second season of the legend of vox machina all day probably doesn't help either since it's pretty focused on dragons even though they're the villains but y'know. The way they animate the dragons is still rather good. And I think getting angry at the way they're usually portrayed as the bad guys actually helps me feel connected to my dragon side as well.

Also, I think I'm starting to feel close to the sea again. Maybe my human form just like, closes off the connection when it starts to get too cold? I know I use to go swimming whenever I could, even if it was literally freezing outside. Which would make my hands go numb and stop working when I got back out of the water. So maybe it's possible my more human side is trying to stop my more aquatic side from making us freeze? Idk. I keep going back and forth with having a connection to water. It keeps feeling like the sea is pulling me to it but human logic and trauma(I was almost drowned once) is pulling me away.
There are definitely other things that could explain my connection to water, but... It just feels homey. Not as much as the void, but still. It was my first love in this life, and it will always be a part of me. Supernatural origin or not.

More spiritual wise.... I had a strange dream last night. Okay, so to add a bit of context, someone tried to reach into my energy last night and let's just say without the crystal casing on my core, it did not end well. It kinda coated their finger(talking about astral body here), then traveled up their arm. I cut off their arm at the shoulder so it wouldn't affect the rest of em, but my core kinda like... Ate the arm? It was brought to the center then slowly dissolved.

Now, I had to wake up early, around 5am, because my mate was going to work around that time. I went back to sleep around 6, then had to wake up again at 7:30 since my dad was picking me up. So this dream happened in the span of an hour. I was also trying to meditate when I fell asleep again. I only vaguely remember the start of the dream. It felt like... Being in a sensory deprivation tank but I couldn't feel my body either. I remember hearing a feminine sounding voice telling me something along the lines of "someone needs help". I was also given a very brief explanation of the situation I was supposed to help with. "... she's being controlled by a demon..." Then, I was in someone else's body.
It was a young girl, maybe 12 or 13, and she did actually look similar to me in some ways. Same hair type and color but shorter, same eye and nose shape but grey/blue instead of my green, same pale skin with freckles but much skinnier than I was at that age. 'I' was wearing a white victorian nightgown style dress, and I was in a small room. It also had a victorian aesthetic, but appeared rather run down. The wallpaper was dull and had scratches. In some places where the wall met the floor, there was dirt and mud coming through. The glass in the windows had shattered in some places.
There was another young girl in the room with me. She looked about the same age. She had pale skin, grey-green eyes, and short blonde hair. She wore a white shirt and bloomers.
The other girl was talking at me in a sort of harsh teasing tone, but I sorta blocked her out as I kneeled down in a corner. I saw something glimmering in the dirt, so I wanted to see what it was. When I dug it out, I saw it looked somewhat like a thin old coffin nail - except the top was made of gold and had crosses indented into the sides. I just sorta put it in my pocket, but I spent an oddly long amount of time admiring it. When I stood back up, the other girl was right in front of me, basically staring me down. I don't remember exactly what she was saying, but some switch in me flicked. I was just done being treated like a doormat - or, done seeing this girl being treated by one.
I grabbed the other girl's face and crushed her skull in - but it looked more like squeezing the head of a plastic doll. The eyes and mouth just looked like empty sockets while I did it as well. When I let go she just laughed and called me pathetic. However... Somehow, I instinctively knew how to unleash my actual energy. I could feel my heart, my soul core itself not the heart of the body I was in, beating. It was deafening. And the expression on the girl- the demon in a form of a girl- her face was priceless. I've never seen anyone go from such a cocky attitude to complete and utter fear so fast. The area around us darkened as my heartbeat got louder. I basically told her off, saying to never harm or even touch "this vessel" again.
Unfortunately, I was immediately woken up by my alarm. However, I didn't feel done with the dream. Before I was completely lucid, I envisioned a needle shooting off of my core and into the demon, then cut it's tie to me. I affirmed that if it were to cause any more harm to anyone that the needle would spread and consume it. Then, I started getting ready for the day. The funny thing is, I could still feel it's presence after I was awake. It wasn't until after I said "if you don't leave, I'll just have it spread now" that I actually felt alone.

Safe to say.... I felt *very* empowered today lol