Lonely Secrets: Yellowstone Ranch Series

20

My exhausted body curled up in Kayce lap the entire ride home. I didn't ask any questions because to be honest, I didn't care about anything else. I just wanna go home.

Kayce's arms wrapped around me tightly. One hand tightly held my side but only his arm caressed my legs, as if he was holding something else.

John must've waited until he thought I was asleep to say something. But there was no way I could sleep. I don't know if I would ever sleep again.

"Son, you can put the gun away." Johns raspy voice grumbled.

Kayce's chest moved up a little more as he took a ragged breath. "Rip said she was in the barn to get away from me." He spoke quietly, careful not to "wake me".

I bit my tongue. It took everything within me to stop him. He wasn't wrong. Kayce had been in a terrible mood recently. He was rough and short. We couldn't carry on a conversation without him telling me I had done something wrong or arguing about it. Not that we ever really argued. He would state his point and I would nod and let him think what he wanted. It was easier that way. I knew better than to argue with a pissed off man.

John disrupted my thoughts. "This isn't your fault-"

"Like hell it isn't." He cut him off. I felt his look down at me, making sure I was still "asleep". "Jake wouldn't have had anything to do with her if it wasn't for me. For what I did. I've put girl through hell." I could hear him swallow hard. I wanted to wrap my arms around his neck again. Kiss him and tell him I didn't care. I did care though but I didn't want him to know that. I just wanted him happy.

I settled taking a small breath in and buried myself deeper into him, wiggling my nose into the crease of his neck. I pushed my lips out and pressed them to his skin. He rubbed my side some and then held me tighter. It was comforting.

Kayce didn't put the gun down. He hardly ever did. It was rare for me to not see it and I slowly became use to having it around, not that I liked it. It was always tucked into the back of his jeans, or laying on the nightstand beside the bed. That was a whole different problem. He didn't sleep in the bed by me anymore. He slept on the couch if he was home. I hated it. I needed someone now more than ever. Hannah was too scared to be at the ranch. The guys at the bunkhouse were not comforting to say the least. They treated me like I was fragile and broken, which that had never done before. Beth also didn't know how to speak to me. John was the only one for a while.

The birds sang a little song as I drank my coffee, rocking in the chair in the front porch. Johns cabin had a better view than Kayce's. The porch was bigger too.

John's boots clicked onto the porch as he pulled the door shut behind him. "Been a long time since I've seen a woman sit and drink coffee on this porch." He smiled down at me. That's why I liked John. He smiled at me and no one else did anymore.

"I wouldn't wanna drink coffee anywhere else. I don't know how you get anything done with a view like this." I stared at the blue mountains. There were hundreds and thousands of living creatures within the crevices of those mountains. I wished I could see all of them from here.

He chuckled a little. "You sit here as long as you want. My dad built this porch for my mother. Always said, she liked to watch him come home." He sighed, drank from his mug, then cleared his throat. "It's not my business so don't tell me if you don't want to." He started in. He looked down at me, narrowed eyes. "Why don't you drink coffee from the porch at Kayce's cabin?"

I looked away from him and back to the creature filled mountains. Well sir, your sons been an asshole recently. That's probably not a suitable answer. I sipped my coffee. "It's hard to enjoy it when the person you want to be there with, isn't the same person anymore." That's better.