Lonely Secrets: Yellowstone Ranch Series

27

"So you two did slept together?" I sniffled, and wiped my cheek with the back of my hand. My cheeks felt warm and I knew they were bright red from the stress and pain I was feeling.

Monica hung her head, and looked down at her lap. She was so pretty sitting across the room from me on her couch. Her long hair cascaded across her slender frame. It was no wonder Kayce was attracted to her.

"I wouldn't say it like that. He was just laid there with me. And we made out but then he came back in here." She mumbled, her voice cracking some. She was hurting, too.

More tears ran down my face. "Why?" I asked.

"I don't know. It was stupid-" She shook her head. "I thought maybe I could guilt him back into- into loving me." She sniffled too.

"Guilt him?" I stood up. "What did you say-" I started to raise my voice but quickly stopped. I wanted to hear this from him. "Never mind. Thanks for being honest with me, Monica." I went for the door.

"Wait, Ada-" She stood up, tears streaming down her high cheek bones,"I'm really sorry. I didn't know how much he loved you-"

I cut her off. I didn't want to hear anymore. "I'm sorry, too. I know you've been through a lot." I tried to give a small smile and wiped my face as I pushed open the door.

It was dark that night. No moon in the sky and very few stars. It was brutally cold but I didn't want to go back to the cabin. So I sat in the barn. In a stall on hay covered concrete. The horses in the other stalls didn't move much. They were cold too.

The sound of shuffling coming through the barn filled my ears.

"You're gonna freeze." Rip pushed the door open.

I didn't say anything or even look up at him. "I don't even care." My tired voice struggled to push the words out.

He sighed and walked over. He sat down beside me with a grunt. "What'd Monica say?"

"What makes you think I talked to her?" I tried fake my way through it.

He huffed and shook his head. "If you went to Hannah or the clinic, you would've just stayed there for the night. If you went to the bar, you would've called me to come get you. And it's too cold for you to go anywhere else."

I pulled my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. I rested my chin on my knee. "Same thing he said. That her horses were stolen and he found 'em and by the time he got back it was a white out so she had him go inside and then they made out but she swears it was nothing more. She did say that she guilted him into everything."

"You can't guilt someone into cheating." He mumbled in a hateful tone.

"I don't know," I sighed loudly. "I don't even know if I can call it that."

"Call it what you want, but it's wrong, Ada. What he did was wrong." He grumbled.

I stared at the wood panels in the stall. One specific one had multiple knots in it. I traced them with my eyes.

I didn't say anything back to him. I knew it was wrong. I just didn't know what to do now.

We sat in silence for a while until he slowly got up. "You coming with?" He asked, dusting his jeans off.

"Maybe later. I need to think some more." There was no way I would go into that bunkhouse right now. I had a splotchy face and smeared mascara. They would pity me and I wasn't in the mood for that.

"Alright. You know where I'll be if you need me." He started for the door.

"Rip?" I said. He turned around and stared down at me. "Thank you. For just being here." I swallowed hard.

"I'm always going to be here for you. No matter what." He let the words linger in the air. I knew what it meant. "Goodnight, Ada."

"Goodnight." I whispered.

It wasn't but ten minutes later when I heard to familiar shuffling sound again.

But this time a cowboy peeked over the stall and froze when he saw me. "Why are you out in the cold, babe? You're gonna get sick." Kayce disappeared for a moment then came back with an Aztec print blanket.

He hurried into the stall and kneeled down in front of me. I looked at his perfect imperfect face. He focused on draping the blanket around me and I stared at his eyes. He met my stare.

"How do I fix this?" He whispered with so much pain in his voice.

"She said she guilted you into it. What did she say to you?" My straining words were barely loud enough to hear.

But he heard me.

He sighed and sat up against the wall next to me. On the opposite side that Rip had just been not long ago.

"I didn't even think she would talk to me but she kept bringing up our marriage. And everything I did wrong and I ruined it all and how it was my fault we divorced and-" I stared at his somber face. He regretted it. I could tell. But what was done was already done. He took his hat off and tossed it on the ground in front of us. He ran a hand through his hair. "I was a terrible husband, Ada. And I never apologized to her. So I sat down with her and finally did. And she started crying and I felt awful so I- I held her for a while. And I should've known she was playing me because she started kissing me after and I- I didn't stop her."

I didn't even have the energy to wipe away my tears. I didn't have the energy to fight or argue or even live. I wanted it to be done. I never wanted to talk about it again.

"You did ruin everything." I mumbled through the slow falling tears.

*****

I told him I was going to stay at the bunkhouse that night. And I planned on it after I went for a drive to clear my head. But I kept driving until I was crossing the Colorado state line by the time he started work the next morning.