and you feel like something unknown is inside you. the wounds you used to have years ago start to crawl up again to trace the stitches that you hid from people. it carves something in between of your heartbeats and if it's loneliness, longing, or pains, no one knows. no one can tell. and no one would. but your hand trembles, you let your mind speak for fears and the void inside your eyes can tell that it’s something that you thought you already overcome; it is the thing that you thought is done—you thought is over because you find peace in your scars. it is a war that you didn’t choose to have but the sun gave you for you didn’t want to see its light. your body trembles just like the first time. you feel the heaviness as well as the numbness, and that thing that you can’t figure out yet, all at once. but you’re certain it is something you have felt before. you blink once and twice, and in rapid rewind to stop the war from happening but of course, once again—you watch yourself break just like the first time.
you witness how you surrender to sunlight and you shatter, your pieces are everywhere, and you can feel how the heat’s weighing you down. the withered flowers inside you grew to inflict pains on your skin trying to grow out from your body. your palms clasped to regain strength for the upcoming battle, but everything is just too much. your sadness tear its way up all over again. again, and again. you tried to ask the sun for help but it hurts. it hurts so much like darkness that you often mistook them as the same thing. you feel like giving up the battle but you’re certain, it doesn’t started yet. just like before, you surrender and thought it means peace—
just because it all happens in silence.
— 02:39 l. sin, battleground
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